Wasted All These Tears
by kadaray
Summary: He left me feeling like a fool for trying. I'm just wasting all these tears on him, wishing I could erase his memory in me because he didn't care about me. Finally I'm through wasting all these tears on him. …Some nights change who you are and what you thought your life would be… M for language, lemons, and fight scenes.
1. Chapter 1: Our Love

A/N: I don't read the manga, only watch the subbed anime so my information is based off of that and some of the tidbits that I do know about the manga, like Neji dies, Tobi is Obito, and that Sasuke helped kill Madara. Any who, Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters herein unless specifically stated at the end of a chapter.

Summary: He left me feeling like a fool for trying. I'm just wasting all these tears on him, wishing I could erase his memory in me because he didn't care about me. Finally I'm through wasting all these tears on him. …Some nights change who you are and what you thought your life would be… M for language, lemons, and fight scenes. Mild SasuSaku at beginning, then KakaSaku.

_Flashback/emphasis/_"talking"/**Character POV:**/*sound*

AGES/BIRTHDAYS:

Naruto: 21, Oct 10

Sakura: 21, March 28

Sasuke: 21, July 23

Kakashi: 35, Sept 15

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 1: Our Love~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 13th

**Sakura:**

Sasuke has been home for nearly four years now and I'm so surprised at the turnaround he has achieved in such a short time considering how dark and hateful he was for the previous four years. In all honesty I would have to say that after Sasuke tried to kill me the second time, I lost all hope of him coming back. That was also the same day that I realized what a naïve little girl I was for loving someone so unconditionally and thinking that he was so much more than he really was. What makes me realize my love for him when I was young wasn't true love is the fact that the love for him that I feel right now is so much more magnificent than anything I've ever experienced. I am in love with the "new" Sasuke Uchiha. The wonderful thing about our relationship is that I wasn't the one who instigated it, nor was I the one who believed it would last. That was all Sasuke, he was really trying…

_- Two Years AGO -_

_"Sakura, please."_

_"I told you no already, didn't I? Seriously if you ask me again today I swear I'll punch you through that wall." I yelled while trying to get some of my paperwork done before lunch so that I could actually have a lunch. Not really noticing that THE Sasuke Uchiha just pleaded.. with me._

_"…"_

_Finally some peace and quiet. Damn._

_"…"_

_Is he ever going to leave my office? This is getting really awkward._

_"…"_

_Ugh nevermind, I'll just have to ignore his death glare. I mean honestly, why would I go on a date with him? Not once since we were children has he ever showed any sort of interest in me. But once we save him from himself he decides to grow up and figure out a future that somehow magically involves me. Puh-lease! Such arrogance!_

_"…"_

_"Are you ever going to leave me alone? Sasuke, let's be real, you don't have feelings for me." I tried to reason with him. What's changed so much in these last two years that he's done a total 180 on his feelings for me? Him returning home, going to prison, being released and followed by ANBU, regaining some of the village's trust….. learning there's more in life than revenge. Oh shit. He's actually trying to be a better person and I'm just rejecting him without listening to who he has become. Wow, I'm being a total judgmental bitch. "Sasuke wait!"_

I can't believe that so much has changed with both of us over these past two years. Never in these past years have I thought that I'd ever have a future with Sasuke Uchiha, maybe a strange friendship, but definitely not a wonderful relationship with the man who I can say that I have fallen in love with and who also loves me. Everything is just so.. _perfect_.

**Sasuke:**

What is _wrong_ with me? I have one of the most beautiful girls in the village in the other room asleep and I can't help but think that this isn't how I want my life to turn out. Who has this much love in their life and considers turning it down not just once but twice? It wasn't until Sakura's birthday a little over two weeks ago that I started feeling surrounded, and not in the good way, more like claustrophobia. I don't understand what is wrong with my life that I feel like I need to leave.. again. I just feel trapped, in this village, with my friends, in this relationship, by Sakura, everyone is trapping me into something that I thought was what I was supposed to have in life, but it's not. And everything was just so.. _perfect_.

**Sakura:**

I'm almost positive that Sasuke didn't come to bed last night. He would always come in, no matter how late, and say 'goodnight, love' and kiss my forehead, and then when I wake up, 'good morning, love'. Sasuke isn't an overly emotion person so hearing him say that the first few times was a shock to say the least. The fact that he was the one to say 'I Love You' first was an even bigger shock. I guess I'm just wondering why he's changing the routine he's had for the past year. Something must be upsetting him if he stayed here and hasn't said two words to me yet.

"Hey Sasuke?" I asked trying to test the waters with him.

"Yea." It wasn't even a question wondering what I wanted, it was a statement like I said his name just to say it. He just kept sipping his tea like I wasn't trying to say something to him. What the hell?

"Excuse me? What the fuck is your issue here?" He's not getting away with that.

"My issue? You're the one who's yelling at eight a.m." he said sardonically. It took me a few seconds to register that we're actually arguing here, over literally nothing.

"I was just wondering if something was wrong with you since you didn't come to bed last night even though you were here. Sorry I asked, didn't know that someone peed in your cereal this morning." I retorted before walking back to the bedroom to grab some clothes for a shower.

He stood up and grabbed me before I crossed the threshold of the kitchen's archway. "Sakura." Once again this was spoken as a statement. I'm going to need more here if this is supposed to be a conversation. Then again this is the former Silent Uchiha as he was in the academy days, never speaking unless _he_ deemed it necessary, kind of like Shikamaru. I just glared at him, daring him to be silent for one more second before I ripped his arm off of mine. "I'm sorry I didn't come in last night. I.. I had a lot to think about."

"Really?" I looked at him incredulously.

"Yes really and I've made a decision. I'd like to tell you about it later tonight." He seemed almost like he was pleading with me to listen to him later. Wow, this must be big.

"Well okay. I'm going to go take a shower and then meet up with Ino before we head to the hospital for our shifts at nine. I should get out at nine, want me to pick up some food on my way back so we can eat a late dinner?"

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'm going to go and do some meditating, bye" and with that he let go of me and left the apartment. I stood there until I heard the door click which knocked me out of my haze reminding me that I need to hurry and get ready so I won't be late to pick up Ino.

On my way to Ino and Shikamaru's apartment I was so engrossed in figuring out what Sasuke wanted to talk to me about later that I got distracted and was smacked by Ino before I realized I was at her place. Literally she smacked my face to get my attention, Kami no one knows how to get someone's attention like her. "HEEEEEEYYYYYY FOREHEAD! *smack* You need to pay attention." What is she my mother now scolding me?

"Sorry Pig, I was just preoccupied with my thoughts" I glared at her.

"S'Okay, what had you so 'preoccupied'?" Ino replied sarcastically, like I'm never one to be occupied by thoughts other than gossip when I'm around her.

"Sasuke." I stated honestly. Ino lost her love for him around the same time that I did, when we both lost hope of him ever returning and she's been with Shikamaru ever since. Five years. I wonder when he's going to pop the question, Kami knows Ino's wondering the same thing.

"What's pretty boy doing these days that's got you so thoughtful?" She knows I hate it when she calls him that. It makes me feel like I like him only for his looks, which is sooooo not true, those are just a wonderful bonus even if that's what initially attracted me to him.

"Ino." I glared. "_Sasuke_ has asked me to talk to him tonight about a decision he made last night. It sounded serious." I honestly don't know what this is about.

"Oh. My. KAMI! If you get engaged before I do I'm going to castrate Shikamaru" What, where did engagements come into this conversation. Seriously sometimes Ino's mind works almost as fast as Shikamaru's only she doesn't explain her thought path like he does. Weirdo.

"Can you please explain to me how you got that I'm getting engaged from me telling you about a future conversation with Sasuke?" I questioned, because how did she come up with that?

"He has something big that he's been thinking about for a while and he finally decided that he wants to tell you about it! He wants to marry you Forehead!" She nearly shrieked into my ear while death gripping my arm.

What, she has to be joking. What, I mean that was the furthest thing from my mind. What, seriously we've only been dating for.. for two years which is.. is when a lot of people get engaged. What, I can't honestly be considering what she's saying, that would be such a huge step for us. "What?" I finally respond after noticing that she's been waiting for my reaction.

"How do you not see it, you've been together for two years, it's about time he popped the question. Maybe that'll give Shikamaru some ideas of his own." Ino replied casually while I was secretly questioning everything in my head again. Ino started to look nervous then. "You'd say yes right? I mean you don't seem to be too excited about the prospect of Sasuke proposing to you."

"…" That is the biggest question I've had to consider in a long time. Do I want to marry the last Uchiha? Wow.. last.. I didn't even consider the fact that I may very well be the restart of the entire Uchiha clan if what we're inferring is true. Kami this is too much. When I imagined getting proposed to when I was younger, I thought that it was going to be the best moment of my life and I would yell a resounding 'YES' before kissing my fiancé and living happily ever after. That dreamed died when I was almost killed by the supposed 'love of my life' twice. I never noticed it until now but maybe I secretly don't trust Sasuke like I think I do, I mean I trust him not to cheat on me and everything but what about the bigger stuff like the fact the he did almost kill me in the past and admittedly he was pretty psycho there for a while when it came to getting revenge against his brother. Do I trust him not to leave me again like last time?

_…continued._

A/N: I know that its short but I really don't want to write a whole story if no one is going to like it. So please let me know how you feel about this. I know, not KakaSaku yet but this opening is a major aspect in the larger story that'll be going on later. Plus suspense kills and it'll keep you reading I hope thanks!


	2. Chapter 2: That Night

_Do I trust him not to leave me again like last time?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 2: That Night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still April 14th

**Sakura:**

I absolutely hate twelve hour shifts; with such passion that I'm amazed we still have them considering the amount of times I've practically chewed off Shizune's head about it. Honestly if she, Tsunade and I are the only ones capable of being the hospital director shouldn't we be training more so we won't have twelve hour shifts? Don't get me wrong, I love my job at the hospital, getting to see people bounce back from something that looked unfixable gives me the most amazing joy. But then there are the days where all you do is paperwork until you have a genin who ingests poisonous plants and ends up vomiting on you. Ugh.. I need a drink, like 30 minutes ago. Only one way to solve that problem, "Hey Ino, drinks on me."

"WOOHOO! You got it Forehead!" She's way to excited to go out drinking. I should probably be concerned with the amount of alcohol she intakes on a weekly basis, liver cirrhosis and all that but who am I to judge her way of dealing, I practically slept with every member of ANBU after Sasuke came back initially just to get over my array of emotions. If the rules governing social standards for civilians also covered shinobi then I'd probably be the village whore but as it stands, no one talks about who they slept with in ANBU. It's unspoken that we deal however we feel like dealing in this line of work and in ANBU sex is just that, no relationship, no emotions, just sex. No one judges because we all do it at one point, Ino broke up with Shikamaru and did it after both of their fathers died, hell I'm eighty percent sure Hinata did it too when she thought that her best friend and teammate, Kiba, was dead for those few months before he escaped torture and came home. We all lost our innocence and rose colored glasses way sooner than our civilian counterparts. Kami where's the closest bar!

"Hey Pig, let's go to that shinobi only bar that's up a few blocks. No one is sure to bother us there, everyone will know we're off the market." I really don't feel like dealing with drunk civilians who don't understand that slobbering over pretty girls with sharp knives isn't conducive to their reproductive organs ever working again. Sick bastards.

"Alrighty, first round's on you since you suggested this but the rest is on me because I just got paid today." I tried to protest but Ino cut me off. "NUH UH! No arguing! Besides Sasuke will murder you if you spend your whole paycheck on drinks with me whereas Shika is wrapped around my finger" Geez can't a woman buy drinks without her friend suggesting she's broke AND too chained down, and why did she have to say that last part so sexual… *ewuuh* Kami that freaked me out .

"Fine but as long as you never speak to me in that voice again, ever." I glowered at Ino.

"Whatever Forehead!" She smiled back in a fake way only Ino can when you know she's just trying to placate you. How does Shikamaru put up with this _every_ day? "Hey two shots of ginjo sake!"

What the hell?! "Damn Ino, the rest of the rounds probably aren't going to cost as much as that."

"I always like having the best first that way we have a good taste in our mouth before we get trashed because we won't taste it later." She said that so honestly and with so much thought to it that I wonder why I never thought of doing something like that. I pondered her statement until the drinks were placed in front of us.

"Alright well bottoms up" *clink*

"..and panties down! WHOOP!"

I almost choked on the shot after hearing her say that. "What the FUCK, Pig?"

"What? Not like that's not how this night isn't going to end for both of us anyway" Ino shrugged after smoothly downing her own.

I never thought that meant we would be removing our panties anytime soon, especially not in the bar but Ino thought differently and was dancing and waving her underwear around not an hour later, she's the definition of unconventional. I'd say she's almost as unpredictable as Naruto but that'd be an insult to the amount of idiotic things that Naruto's done over the years. Speaking of… when did Naruto get here?

**Naruto:**

This doesn't look good, I knew that when Hinata found me and said that she heard Ino and Sakura were drinking pretty heavily at the bar that something was definitely going to go wrong tonight. Nothing good ever comes out of Konoha's strongest kunoichi when she's plastered. Hopefully she doesn't break anything… or anyone. Wait is Ino dancing on that table with.. are those her panties?! "Oi, Sakura, you alright?" I asked while looking concerned, glancing between her and Ino.

"Heyyy Narutoooo" She slurred. Wow did I just hear Sakura slur her words.

"Yep time to get you home to Sasuke." I said while trying to maneuver Sakura into a comfortable position by my side.

"What? Why's the party ending, Narutoooo?" Oh crap I forgot that Ino was here t0o. I can't carry both of them and they live in opposite directions. Well guess I better find someone to look for Shikamaru on my way there.

"Hi Ino." I said while sitting Sakura down in the nearest chair so I could coax Ino down off of the table. She practically fell on me but she didn't flash anyone and that's all I could ask for. I set her down next to Sakura before I removed the new drink from the pink haired kunoichi's hands. Honestly where did she get that so quickly? "Ino, I'm going to take Sakura home and Shikamaru should come by to take you home too"

"What? No waaaay, I can just get home with one of those lovely gentlemen over there" Ino said while pointing to a group of shinobi sitting at the other end of the bar. Oh hell no. Is she idiotic, any one of them would have her pants off before she could say I'm taken if she asked to go home with one of them, they'd assume she meant their home. Damn, how do I handle this, I should have brought Hinata with me. Oh wait!

"Hey Genma! Yeah, hey, uhm could you possibly take Ino home? I can't take her and Sakura at the same time. Please?" Genma knew Ino, on _personal_ level, but he's been dating Shizune for a while now so he'd never try anything with Ino. Probably the only mostly sober trustworthy person in here now.

"Yeah sure man" Genma nodded before downing his shot. Was that really necessary? "I was just on my way out, got to get home anyway." Genma slowly collected Ino into his grasp while I was making my way to the bar door. I should definitely check on Ino tomorrow morning. Did I just hear Sakura giggle? This is going to be such a long walk back.

"Come on Sakura, Sasuke isn't going to be happy about this." I mean, damn, he never drinks and I'm almost sure he doesn't like it when she does. "It's almost midnight, you need to go to sleep. Don't you have work tomorrow morning?"

"What? I don't have work tomorrow, it's my day off… Wait! Oh crap" Sakura said while trying to wiggle out of my grasp, nearly toppling over in the process. "UGGGH why did I have to forget about tonight" she groaned while clutching her head between her hands like she just missed the most important thing in the world.

"What are you talking about Sakura? Come on lets go home." I tried to reach for her but she jumped back and I saw her hand glowing green with chakra. What is she trying to do here? "Sakura.. be careful, I don't want to have to clean up any destroyed buildings_" ..or lose any limbs_ I thought to myself as I tried to coax her into losing the chakra so we could continue our trek home.

"I'm not going to punch anything.. idiot" She almost whispered that last part but I'm a shinobi remember, of course I heard it and she knows it. "I'm trying to metabolize some of the alcohol in my system before I get home to Sasuke. I'm already late as it is and he won't talk to me if I'm drunk too. Shit, this'll have to do." She didn't seem as wobbly on her feet and was no longer slurring her words. Damn I wish I could do that, no more hangovers.. ever.

**Sakura:**

"This is my block Naruto, you don't have to walk me to my door, I'm pretty sure I've interrupted your one night a week with Hinata enough." It's bad enough that he had to convince Hiashi Hyuga to allow him to date Hinata but Hiashi won't let her stay out late except on Friday nights, and I'm ruining his one night. "Shoo, go back to Hinata."

"Alright, if you say so Sakura" He still looked concerned but I know he'd rather be with Hinata than babysitting me to my door. "Bye, see you later."

"Good night Naruto, have fun and be safe!" I could tell he was embarrassed by that last comment but he needs someone to mother him every now and then. I'm practically team mom anyway, what with keeping everyone from mutilating each other before we start missions or making sure we have enough supplies, I even make sure that Kakashi isn't late to anything of importance. Kami, how would they function without me? Crap, where'd I put my keys? There are only so many pockets in this outfit. Uhm okay think..

_- Earlier -_

_"Hurry up Forehead, if we're going to the bar then I want to get there before any of the good booths get taken." I heard Ino shout from outside my door._

_"I'll be right there Ino just give me two seconds to put my coat away" I yelled at Ino while grabbing my keys from the coat pocket and depositing them on my desk so I could put my coat away in the closet. Sometimes Ino is just too impatient for her own good, "Hey Pig, let's go!" And with that I shut my office door and left for drinks with Ino._

You have got to be kidding me. I left my keys on my desk.. at the hospital.. all the way across the village. Why do I live so far away from the one place that I spend the most time at, even Ino was smart enough to buy a place with Shikamaru that was close to the hospital and the jonin headquarters. Well I guess if shinobi skills would ever come in handy it'd be when you are locked out. Sasuke should be in the bedroom so I should just go to that window and hope he sees me. *click**click* Great he saw me, hopefully he's not too pissed that I missed the conversation we were supposed to have. Or that I forgot to get him dinner… oops. Wow, damn, he's in nothing but his boxer briefs but he doesn't look that pissed. "Hey Sasuke thanks for opening the window for me, I left my keys in my office." I said while hopping down from the bedroom window sill while ogling my practically naked boyfriend still.

"Hn" He grunted, it's hard to tell when he's mad when he does that. He looked different but I couldn't quite place the emotion in his eyes, it wasn't one of anger.

"Well.. do you want to talk now?" I sheepishly asked, knowing that once you close the door on a conversation with him that he wouldn't open it again anytime soon. Why didn't I write a note about this so I wouldn't have forgotten? Wait I did and its currently in my office, along with my apartment keys. Considering how much time I spend staring at that desk while doing paperwork I'm surprised that I forget things that I put on it.

He didn't say anything and just went back to the closet, most likely to find a shirt to sleep in. Well if he's not willing to talk then I should probably just call it a night. I walked to the kitchen and pulled two pain killers from the cabinet to put by my bed for the next morning when I wake with a hangover, I always forget to use my chakra to relieve hangovers so at least I'll have some relief. After I grabbed a glass of water to go along with it, I thought of a better idea on how to finish our night. I smirked as I took my boots off, positioned them by the front door next to Sasuke's before walking back to the bedroom, placing the pills and glass of water on my nightstand, and then stood in the doorway to the closet while unbuttoning my top extra slow. "Sasuke.." I drawled in a low voice while removing my shirt from my shoulders. He finished putting his shirt over his head and then started to turn towards me. The shirt fell to the floor and was joined by my bra soon after when Sasuke turned around. Sasuke may not be one to show emotion, but the slight widening of his eyes and the fire that had ignited in them as the sharingan flashed drove me crazy. I could look at lustful Sasuke all day, any day. Oh and the things that he can do with that sharingan.. ahhh, just thinking about it turns me on.

I turned around and waltzed back into our bedroom swinging my hips as I went. I decided waiting in the middle of the room facing away from the closet was the best choice. I could feel him standing behind me, he wasn't touching me but the heat radiating off of him was enough to cause heat to course though my own body. I'm glad he took the initiative to take his shirt back off. It was then that I felt his hands, like fire, encircle me and trail over my stomach and up my arms to my shoulders in an oh-so-slow way that caused my lower abdomen to ignite even more. He moved my hair to the side and started kissing down my neck to my shoulder, it was then that I turned around in his arms and captured his lips in mine. I encircled my arms around his neck, scratching my nails along his scalp before I grabbed his hair. He hissed and pushed my hips more into his body with almost bruising strength. I could feel his hardness against my stomach and it made me smile into the kiss as I led us backwards until I was falling onto the bed. He stood over me just staring with the sharingan flashing once again. He then got on his knees on the bed and crawled up to me to capture my lips once again. He was so gentle when he caressed my cheek during the kiss when he licked my lower lip asking to deepen the kiss. I granted him entrance and promptly took control of the kiss, he moved his other hand to lay on my thigh that was bent up by his hips. He gave a gentle squeeze before releasing my lips and kneeling up between my legs. He placed both hands on the hem of my skirt before yanking them down exposing my red lace boy shorts.

"Those have got to go." He said in such an animalistic voice that I thought I would lose it right then. He placed his hands where he had when he yanked my skirt down only this time he didn't pull, he kept scooting my panties lower until they were at my knees. He leaned down and kissed me again before kissing my stomach then straightening back up on his knees. I giggled when he kissed the side of each ankle after he straightened my legs in the air to remove my panties slowly over my feet. My legs weren't bent back down until he kissed his way to my knee on both legs. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine and I could feel Sasuke smirk into my skin as he reached my upper left thigh in his attentions. I closed my eyes in anticipation of what was to come, and they flew open when he blew his breath over my moist center. He was teasing me and I knew he loved every noise of protest I was making whenever he would pull away right before touching me. When I almost gave in and begged for it was when I felt his hot tongue lick me roughly before he started to slip his tongue in, out and around me while playing with my sensitive pearl in his thumb and forefinger. The coil in my lower abdomen kept tightening until I thought I was going to lose it, my hands balled in the sheets by my head. It was then that I grabbed is face and guided him up to me so I could kiss him passionately and taste myself on his lips. He groaned when I delved my tongue into him and that was when I decided to take control and flip us over, me straddling his hips, his erection hard against my core but still cover by his boxer briefs. I'm so glad that he doesn't sleep in pants, it makes this part so much easier and I love looking at him in those tight boxer briefs. I involuntarily shuddered again before I scooted down him and pulled his boxer briefs down as I went, freeing him. I couldn't help myself as I licked my lips at seeing Sasuke's perfection. The last Uchiha had nothing to be ashamed about, he was _well_ endowed. His good looks weren't a façade, he was great to look at _everywhere_.

I lightly graced my fingers over his thighs as I crawled my way back up Sasuke. He had himself propped up on his elbows, watching me as I hovered over his manhood licking my lips seductively. It wasn't til I wrapped my fingers around him that he closed his eyes and his head fell back in a loud moan. I gave him a few pumps before I decided to tease him like he did me. Leaning forward, I lightly brushed my thumb over the head, smearing the pre-cum, and blowing on it slightly causing him to groan even louder. After waiting a few seconds I decided to take him in my mouth, fondling his other bits while licking and sucking my way over his manhood. His hand almost instantly went to tangle in my pink locks. I could feel him lengthening and hardening, so I released him with a pop. He freed my hair when I went to straddle him and took him in me to the hilt. We both hissed through our teeth, reveling in the feeling of being buried in one another. Before I could start moving I was flipped over onto my back with my legs hooked around his waist, burying him deeper in me. "Damn you are so _fucking_ amazing." Sasuke whispered in my ear while sucking on my neck as he pounded into me. "So beautiful." He groaned out. Sometimes he could talk dirty and make me feel like a goddess and other times he says stuff like this that makes me feel so loved and cherished by someone I know to love almost completely with my whole being.

I could feel myself climbing higher and higher to my peak and knew Sasuke was almost there too based on his nearly erratic movements. "Faster.. ahhh.. oh Kami" I moaned in between breaths. Sasuke shifted my legs higher up his back and it was then that he hit that sweet spot inside me and I exploded into white hot liquid fire. Simultaneously Sasuke reached his release as I pumped him of his seed. He collapsed and pulled out while rolling to the side to avoid crushing me under his weight. Both of us were breathing hard trying to catch our breaths. It was moments like these that solidified my feelings for Sasuke in my heart. He could be so sweet yet his same domineering self all at the same time, it was like a Sasuke that only I could see. We sat there staring at each other until our breathing evened out. It was then that Sasuke turned to me and gathered me in his arms. My hands rested on his chest with my head resting in the crook of his neck. His breath fanned over the top of my head, blowing away a few wayward strands. I almost fell asleep to the sound of his heart beat when he spoke and woke me out of my almost slumber.

"Sakura, about toni.." Sasuke started as he ran his hands up and down my spine.

"I love you." I cut him off mid-sentence. I looked up at him and kissed him hard. "I love you" I breathed out again. I saw that same emotion I saw earlier cross his face and once again I couldn't place it.

"Sakura.." replied Sasuke as I looked deep into his onyx gaze. He placed both hands on my cheeks and kissed me soft before saying, "I love you", it was then that his sharingan activated. "You'll always be my cherry blossom" he whispered as the tomoes started to spin. The last thing I heard before darkness consumed me was a soft, "thank you."

_...continued._

A/N: Aight! Done with SasuSaku as you read.. ONWARD! PS those first reviews made my day and is why I'm continuing. Thank you! And I honestly don't know how long this story is going to be, I'm just writing until the story comes through, I hate the ones that rush the relationships like you magically fall in love after someone kisses you, WTF?!, that never happens and I want this to seem like it could really happen so I'm not putting restrictions on length or anything, it'll go where I lead and hopefully you follow. :)

Disclaimer still applies and don't complain about the lemon I said there would be some.

*ewuuh* is a shiver like you just got the heeby geebies, you know when something freaks you out and you can't help but shudder, that's kinda how I thought dictating that noise would be spelled


	3. Chapter 3: What Ifs

_The last thing I heard before darkness consumed me was a soft, "thank you."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 3: What Ifs~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 15th

**Sasuke:**

It was still early in the morning after I put Sakura to sleep. It wasn't how I planned to do things or how I wanted them to turn out. I wish that I could have talked everything out with her but how was I to know that she'd come home partly drunk at midnight and then want to skip the whole conversation part. I thought about leaving her a note but decided against it, nothing could convey everything I'm feeling right now, and a simple note just seemed like it would be a slap in the face to her. So here I stand, staring at my cherry blossom. But she won't be mine anymore after this, it's unforgivable. The greatest thing that's ever happened to me and probably the biggest mistake I'll ever make. She was everything that I should have ever wanted, she loved me so much and gave me everything. Everything except the one thing I need, freedom, no one in this village can give me that. After spending all those years traveling through all the nations, I don't feel like myself anymore, just sitting here in a village listening to what others want from me. I can't fill the spot that they want me to fill anymore, leaving is my only option now. If I timed everything right then Sakura should wake up at dawn and I should be almost out of fire country by then. I said a few words to her before I shut the bedroom door. I spent a minute reminiscing about every wonderful and some of the not so wonderful memories that happened in this apartment, when I asked Sakura to be my girlfriend and the first night we spent together after that, our first real fight over her cleaning up more, when we thought she was pregnant and the surprisingly upsetting moment we found out she wasn't, spending the nights together comforting each other when friend after friend died in a profession that should have long ago hardened us against death. I then thought about everything that could have eventually happened in this very apartment, proposing to Sakura and our wedding night, having arguments with her over trivial marital problems, finally getting pregnant, spending even more nights together as our number of friends slowly dwindle until it's our turn for a no-return mission. With one last look back into the apartment that has been my home for the past year, I shut and lock the door before sliding my keys underneath it. With a few leaps over rooftops I arrived at the Hokage tower. Looking through the glass I can see Tsunade asleep on top of her desk with papers and empty bottles of sake lying around. I silently crept through the window up to her desk, carefully placing the scroll containing my reasons for leaving near her arm so she'd notice it. Just as silently I creep out and with one final glance over the village that's my home but has never truly felt like one, I leave into the shadows of early morning.

**Sakura:**

This has to be one of the most wonderful dreams that I've ever had. It has to be a dream because my one wish, that I've always had, has finally come true. I am seeing and experiencing the world through the eyes of my handsomely stoic boyfriend, Sasuke Uchiha. Ever since the day that I'd met the Uchiha heir I've always wondered what he's thinking and feeling. From our first accidental A-rank mission against Zabuza, to the chunin exams, but most importantly back then when I was trying to figure out how he felt about me, sadly that was answered the day that he left to gain power from Orochimaru leaving me on that cold bench. I rarely thought too deeply about his actions after Shikamaru's failed mission to bring him home, and especially after he tried to kill me the second time, Sasuke was almost completely off my radar of people worth caring about. After the defeat of Obito, Madara and the Ten Tails, when Sasuke returned to the village, I didn't know how to feel. Part of me was so overjoyed that the lost member of the original Team 7 has returned but the other half of me was worried endless about the type of person that had really come home to us. I never got to meet that person until a year into his rehabilitation into Konoha civilization when he was released from prison confinement. To say it was an awkward meeting would have been the understatement of that year.

_- Three Years Ago -_

_"Stupid lock," I said while slamming my door with a little too much force. My landlord would complain but then again why should I care, after all this is his fault that he has yet to fix my lock. After messing with my lock for the past ten minutes I'm going to be late to my shift at the hospital and Shizune won't be happy that she's staying longer until I get there, if I remember right this is the day that her first real date with Genma is. I grabbed my hospital ID badge from my pocket and jumped off the second story balcony to the next roof. I was trying to affix it to the front of my lab coat but the darn clip, just like my apartment lock, won't budge. I don't understand why I even need an ID badge, I'm almost certain that I'm the only highly trained medic-nin in all of Konoha with bubble gum pink hair, most likely the only one in all of the five nations. I swear this day is just going to keep getting worse, I thought as I finally clipped the badge onto my front pocket. It was that moment that I chose to look up and see where I was going when I ran head on into the broad chest of a one Sasuke Uchiha._

_"Ouch, oh my gosh are you o.. Sasuke?" I asked as I gazed in disbelief at the person sitting on the roof in front of me. Let's ignore the fact that I haven't seen Sasuke since his trial a little more than a year ago and he hasn't seen me since the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Nor should we focus on the little detail of having not even _spoken_ to him since he tried to kill me the first time at the Kage Summit. The most surprising piece of information that you'll get out of this impromptu encounter were the next words out of Sasuke's mouth._

_"I'm sorry, are you alright?" He spoke with what appeared to be real concern. The shock of his statement didn't wear off until I realized I had been sitting there for a good minute, silent and openly staring at him._

_"N-No, uhm, I'm fine thanks. I should have been paying attention to where I was going." I responded when I got my bearings back. I shouldn't be surprised that I'd see him eventually, I mean we were on the same team once so we have quite a few people we know in common. I guess I just never expected to run into him now. "Sorry, you're probably on your way somewhere and I made you late. Bye." I said the last part over my shoulder as got up and turned in the direction of the hospital._

_As I was pressing the chakra into my feet to propel myself onto the next roof I felt a hand gently grasp my elbow. I turned in surprise, not quite expecting him to be standing right behind me. I guess the look I had on my face wasn't a welcoming one because Sasuke promptly dropped his arm to his side before speaking. "I'm sorry." He didn't look at me, and kept his head down with his bangs hanging over his face._

_"I already told you I was fine and that it's my fault. There's nothing to be sorry for." I responded casually, while inside I was questioning his demeanor._

_"I meant for everything." If I wasn't a shinobi I wouldn't have heard him say that but I did hear him. It was then he looked up at my unguarded expression, quickly averting his gaze back down at the face I was making at him, a look of what I could only describe as hurt crossing over his eyes. I really should learn to school my expressions more._

_"Sasuke.." I responded in almost the same volume, I knew he heard me but he still didn't look up. "Sasuke." This time his name was spoken with more force, nearly commanding him to look up at me. Once he did I started speaking, "You shouldn't apologize for something that you did when you had strong beliefs in what you were doing. You might regret your decisions now but you didn't regret them for years. Just because situations change doesn't mean you should alter your views. I can't fault you for doing something that you believed in, no matter how much I wanted to for years. You accomplished the goal you had since you were a child, it may have been bittersweet but regretting it can impact your life too much. I know how that feels so don't apologize, just move on. I did." With that I turned and made my way to the hospital, to an extremely furious Shizune._

Looking back at the memory I realize that while he was trying to restart a relationship with me, I was just brushing him off. The next few memories that passed by were of him trying to get my attention, during training, on the street, at the hospital. Everywhere that he could run into me after our first encounter he did, I hadn't realized that he was doing that on purpose until now. I should be glad though because of the wonderful relationship that formed from his persistence at trying to get me to go out with him. When the memory of me saying yes to that first date passed by I felt him get so excited that he finally won me over, the thought of a happy Uchiha made me smile. He had been so unhappy for so many years before he came back. The next few memories were of some of our more memorable dates. I experienced all of his feelings throughout each recount and was slowly feeling him falling for me as each passed. It was a wonderful sensation experiencing it from his side while remembering my own feelings in each encounter. The night of him asking if I'd be his girlfriend was a particularly wonderful memory, my surprise at his question followed by an unquestionable yes before the memory of that amazing night was re-experienced. The next few were of sweet things that Sasuke did that until now I hadn't realized he put a lot of thought into, like whenever he'd make my favorite dinner after a particularly hard day at the hospital or how he'd do everything around the apartment like cleaning for a few days after a difficult mission or if we lost someone. The remembrance that followed those always felt raw whenever I thought back to it, and I started to tear up while watching from Sasuke's point of view.

_- Ten Months Ago -_

_I knew that my fidgeting wasn't doing anything to ease Sakura's anxiety. I couldn't help it however, it was a habit that I picked up from Naruto over the past few years but I knew she could understand my nerves. As if sensing me freaking out Sakura even more Tsunade spoke up. "I will kick you out Uchiha if you don't stop making Sakura more apprehensive than she already is."_

_Although it was weird, the Hokage's words did having a calming effect on both of us as we waited for Tsunade's judgment. Sakura was lying on her back on top of a hospital exam table, Tsunade's hands hovering over her lower abdomen, glowing green with chakra. After spending the last two week almost certain she was pregnant, with both of us panicking about how we weren't ready for this, she woke me up early this morning even more panicked because she was bleeding. We discussed the fact that she most likely was never pregnant and we were both over reacting, I mean she was only a week late now and before that the only symptoms were the nausea and tiredness. She was on that birth control shot, being a kunoichi, but those things do only have a 98% effectiveness rating and there's that two percent for a reason. She never did a self-exam during those two weeks because we were afraid of the results but I kind of wish she did now, maybe I could have done something different for her if she was or we could have stopped our stupid worry if she wasn't . But nevertheless that's how I ended up here waiting for what seems like eternity for results that could change my future._

_"Alright, I've completed my exam. You can sit up Sakura." Spoke Tsunade as she turned around to write something down in Sakura's chart. Oh Kami. I just need to remember to breathe, if I pass out here then neither of them will ever let me live this down. I looked up as she turned around again to give us the verdict. "You are not pregnant."_

_Tsunade's answer hit me like a brick. I can't say that I was too surprised after the bleeding Sakura had this morning but I do know that stuff like that is common in the first few months of pregnancy. I still didn't expect my reaction to be what it was when I heard we weren't pregnant, neither of us was ready and we knew that, and yet here we both sat silenced by the fact that we weren't going to be parents. I could tell that Sakura was processing this information in much of the same way I was. I didn't want to ask the question that both of us were thinking, _had she been pregnant? _I didn't want to know honestly and I knew that the answer whether it was in the affirmative or not was something that could make my cherry blossom wilt even more than the years already had. So no matter how surprisingly painful it felt, I said the one thing that I knew would keep her from voicing her question. "It's for the best Sakura. You're 20 and I just turned 21. Neither of us were ready or really wanted something like this now." I looked away not wanting to see that hurt look in her eyes that I knew was there while trying to reign in my own wayward emotions._

Kami. I never knew he felt that way. Understanding where he was coming from I know now why he said what he did when I knew that he was feeling every bit disappointed as I was. I never have looked in my own chart to see what shishou wrote about whether or not I was pregnant before or not. After not voicing my question at the initial exam I never gained the courage to find out for myself. It's one of those things that you're just better off not knowing. The next sequence of memories passed quickly, barely giving me enough time to register what was happening in each of them. The only thing that I could finitely tell was Sasuke's emotions, they were mostly anger, confusion, frustration, and finally acceptance in a memory of him sitting on the couch in our living room. That must have been when he didn't come to bed and stayed up thinking. The next vision I saw was of me when I came followed closely by Sasuke, in what was only a memory that happened a few hours ago. All of the raw emotion of my own feelings about the event mixed with his that I was experiencing was almost too much to deal with. I heard myself cut him off midsentence and I realized how annoyed he got when I do that but he didn't finish his statement. Instead he waited and I could feel him contemplating his next words but I already know what he says before the words left his mouth, "Sakura.. I love you, you'll always be my cherry blossom. Thank you."

It was then that the memory started to warp. I didn't really understand what was going on. His words were the last thing I remember but now I'm watching him get off the bed where I still lay asleep, seeing everything from a third person view. I stare at him as he stands at the door looking at me with a gaze filled with what I'm assuming is love before the emotion that I couldn't place before crosses his face once again. This time however I can feel it too. It's regret. What does Sasuke have to re- _"Sakura, I'm sorry that I could never be what you deserve. And I'm sorry that I'm leaving you again."_ He started to speak, still staring at my sleeping form with what I now understand is regret on his face. _"Hopefully one day you'll understand that I was never meant to come home."_

Wait.. WHAT?! No, no, no, no, NO! This isn't happening, this can't be real. I mean this is all a dream right, I'm just imaging all of this. There is no way that Sasuke Uchiha is leaving Konoha again after being home for four years. He hasn't even been home as long as he's been away yet. I was going to throw him a party celebrating the fact that he's been home longer than away when the day came. But he's leaving. No, wait! Don't walk through that door Sasuke!

"COME BACK!" I yelled as I shot straight in my bed, reaching out in front of myself trying to grasp at what used to be Sasuke's retreating form. I quickly realized that I was still in my room, sitting on my bed sweating and not watching Sasuke walk away from me again. As soon as this realization dawned on me I also discovered that said Uchiha wasn't with me and dawn was just breaking, still too early. I disentangled myself from the sheet and placed my feet on the cold floor. Taking a second to slow my racing heart before I ventured to find out what I already felt I knew. I reached for the door knob and hesitated in grabbing it, then taking another deep breath before I turned the knob and stepped back to open the door. I stood at the threshold of the bedroom staring out into our mostly dark apartment. Our empty, silent apartment. He isn't here. In an attempt to quell my rising panic I reasoned that maybe he went to do some early morning training. That's what he's doing. I then left the bedroom to walk around the apartment, almost as if I was inspecting it for signs of his departure. I glanced into the kitchen seeing nothing out of the ordinary before I crossed over to the couch which sat facing away from the door, figuring that I might as well wait for him to return home, right? It was when I turned toward the couch to fluff the pillow before I sat down that I saw something sitting on the floor behind the couch a few feet away from the door. I strode around the couch wondering what it was, stopping in my tracks behind the couch when I realized what it was sitting on the floor by the door. Sasuke's keys. Slowly sinking down to my knees I reached out and gingerly picked them up before leaning back against the couch. Sasuke would have never left his keys here. Never. It really did happen didn't it, I thought as I stared at the object in my hands. He left me, again. Realization started to settle in and I curled myself into a ball behind the couch clutching Sasuke's keys to my chest. My heart shattered.

"Oh Kami, why" I whispered as the pain overtook me.

April 24th

**Naruto:**

Granny Tsunade sent an ANBU out to fetch me at nine thirty this morning on my first real day off in a long time. It's only Monday so I wonder what kind of mission she read through this morning that is of such importance that she'd call me in this early. Whatever it is I hope that it won't take til Friday, I was hoping to plan a really nice evening for Hinata and me so that I could finally ask her to be my girlfriend. We've been seeing each other for about a year now, and I was slow on the uptake with the fact that she liked me for all those years so I know she won't think less of me because it'll have taken me this long to ask her to officially be my girlfriend. *knock* *knock* Better get this over with, I wanted to meet Hinata at Ichiraku for a lunch date.

"Enter" I heard from the other side of the large wooden double doors. I grabbed the door knob and opened the door before walking in and silently closing it behind me. Granny Tsunade was sitting behind her desk and looked frazzled about something, she didn't even acknowledge me when I walked up and stood in front of her desk. Seeing that she wasn't going to start talking about whatever she summoned me here for I decided to cough into my hand and prompt her.

"Ehhmm, uhm, Granny Tsunade? You summoned me here." Only then did she look up at me and appeared as if she just noticed someone else was in the room with her.

"Oh yes, Naruto, I have a short task for you." Greaaaaaat. I was dragged out of bed early to run an errand. Oh joy, I thought as I didn't hide the irritation in my expression.

"Don't look at me like that Uzumaki, this involves Sakura." At the mention of my pink haired best friend I immediately started to focus on what the Hokage was saying. "She had Ino cover all of her hospital shifts last week claiming illness. Her being a medic and me being one too, I didn't question her reasons for staying home if she truly was ill but she didn't show up this morning either and no one is covering her shift."

"That's not something that Sakura would let happen." I responded immediately, knowing that Sakura would never leave the hospital understaffed if she couldn't make it in.

"Exactly. No one has seen her the whole time she's been 'ill' and neither has anyone see the Uchiha around the village." What? That's just weird, neither of them would ever go anywhere without telling someone something and Kakashi is out of the village on an extended mission so that mostly just leaves me, Ino, Sai or Yamato. They don't really like Sai too much because of his responses to everything no matter how much he's gotten better at his reactions over the past years and I know for a fact that Yamato creeps us all out sometimes so that really just leaves me and Ino. I haven't heard anything and if Ino knew I would probably know by now. This is weird, I thought while glancing to the side at the shelves covered in scrolls at the corner of the office. An odd scroll on the floor half sticking out from under the bottom shelf caught my attention. Mostly because it had the Uchiha crest on it, something that isn't a common sight unless in the presence of the only one left. I knew I was ignoring Granny Tsunade but this scroll intrigued me and I had to see what it was. I walked over to the shelves and bent to pick it up as I heard, "Naruto are you even listening to me? What are you doing over there? What's that scroll?"

"I don't know but it has the Uchiha crest on it. It was on the floor kind of hidden beneath the bottom shelf over there, do you know what it is?" I know that asking what any scroll in that office said was against village rules. I had no right to know what any of those scrolls said but my curiosity got the better of me and by the look on the Hokage's face she didn't know what it was about either.

_- Nine Days Ago -_

_"Granny TSUNADE!" *bang* *bang* I yelled while knocking loudly on her office door. I knew that she was in there, last night was Friday and she always drank heavily on Fridays and rarely made it out of her office. Deciding to just stroll in and wake her up myself I kicked the door in with a loud reverberating thud._

_I sported a satisfied smirk when I realized that I woke her up loud enough for her to jump back from her desk causing scrolls to fly everywhere. I began laughing as I went to pick up the lost scrolls as she looked at me in annoyance. _

"I have no idea. Must have missed it. Hand it over." I passed the scroll to her, hoping that she wouldn't realize probably she missed it because of me causing her to drop all those scrolls on the floor, and watched on as she unsealed it and began reading the missive. My curiosity turned to concern as I watched the expressions cross her face as she read the contents of the scroll silently. It wasn't until she finished and stared up at me, pale and in shock, that my worry turned into fear. I snatched the scroll out of her hands not caring that I was once again breaking village rules in reading something not deemed for my eyes yet. As I read my face blanched.

_April 15__th_

_To Whom It May Concern_

_I don't wish to disappoint you but I have decided that the path that has been made for me isn't the one that I wish to follow. Over the past few months I have begun to feel smothered by everyone here, through either you're attentions or expectations. I hadn't felt this closed in or trapped other than when I was actually imprisoned in a cell during my sentence in Konoha's detention center. I understand that this desertion for a second time won't be tolerated among the council elders nor will I be accepted by the villagers of Konoha again. I'm expecting you to send a retrieval team after me but in hopes of squashing that action I wrote you this letter. I don't wish to return to Konoha. Ever. No matter how much you desire for me to find a peaceful life within the walls of the village that will not happen. Sakura already knows that I have gone, and I hope that whoever reads this, Naruto, Tsunade, and everyone else will help her in getting over me once again. I realize that me leaving this time will cause more damage than the initial betrayal. None of us are wearing those rose colored glasses of childhood anymore where we think that if we believe in something then we'll get it. You can't bring me back, not willingly. I can't fit into the normalcy of this village without feeling like I'm not being myself. I was told by Sakura that I should never regret or say sorry for doing something that I believe is right. Therefore I'm not going to apologize for my actions, if anything, I've only ever had one regret. Don't look for me, I'd rather die fighting than be brought back to that prison chamber known as my home, I'll attack Konoha nin on sight if I detect that I'm being followed. Goodbye everyone._

_ ~ Sasuke Uchiha ~_

A thousand thoughts rushed through my head at once as hundreds of feelings raced through my heart. At the forefront I felt betrayal, my best friend had left me not once but twice, both times for his own selfish reasons. Anger and sadness shortly followed, I wondered how he could do this again to all the people who love him and why? Then a thought stuck me like lightning. If this message was dated Saturday the fifteenth, nine days ago, and the scroll says that Sakura was told in her own way then that means that Sakura had to have known that Sasuke's been gone this the whole time. My concern for my pink haired friend shot through the roof, no one's seen her and she's been dealing with this all on her own for over a week. I felt my breath hitch. "SAKURA!"

_…continued._

A/N: I'm sorry that the chapters are so short (even if this one is kinda long)but I have ADD and writing a lot whether it's at once or not is really tedious so I have a goal orientation method where I only do things to a certain point that way I finish them and feel accomplished otherwise I would just stop. Plus as someone with ADD I hate reading super long chapters because I just want to stop half way through and can't really mark where I stopped. Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming!

Disclaimer still applies.


	4. Chapter 4: Aftermath

_I felt my breath hitch. "SAKURA!"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 4: Aftermath~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still April 24th

**Naruto:**

_Oh Kami, oh Kami, oh Kami_.. My thoughts were erratic as I raced to find one of my best friends and only female teammate. How did no one notice the fact that two of Konoha's best shinobi weren't seen for over a week? What kind of scarred social system do we have that if you don't see someone that you see _every day_, you just brush it off?! Kami, is everyone so self-absorbed?.. Wait, am I? I never once took notice of the fact that neither of my teammates from the original Team 7 were around. Both of the people, who I thought were so central to me, were so insignificant this past week that I didn't even realize one was gone, most likely permanently, and the other may be irreparably damaged by the betrayal. _Oh Kami_, I thought once again as I landed on the hall balcony of Sakura's floor. Taking a minute to compose myself, I strode over to the door I knew so well as Sasuke's and Sakura's. _Not theirs anymore_. Shaking my head I took another deep breath in anticipation for what I would see beyond that door, I then knocked twice. After about two minutes of waiting I finally released my breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding when I heard a faint noise on the other side. Another two minutes pass and nothing happens. Its then that I realize that Sakura's not coming to the door, and I grasp the fact that maybe Sasuke incapacitated her much like the last time he left only this time he could have done much more damage. I steel myself once more before I back up a few feet and run full speed, knocking the door in. Upon reaching the other side, all the breath leaves my lungs in one breathe, "Oh Kami".

The tears that I had held in while reading Sasuke's letter welled up anew and fell at the sight before me. Nearly every piece of furniture in the apartment was knocked over and broken, as I walked precariously through the apartment I snuck a peek into the kitchen to see every plate shattered on the floor with pieces stabbed into the wall. It was once I reach the shelves that I notice every picture that had Sasuke in it was sitting on the floor broken. I paused by the shelves and touched the original picture of Team 7 sitting on the floor amidst the glass when I hear a noise coming from somewhere in the back of the apartment. Hearing it again I stood back up and begin walking down the hall to the bedroom. Hesitating slightly, I open the door to the bedroom and that's when I saw her.

"Oh Sakura.." I whisper and through my own tears I see her similarly tear stained face look up at me. She looks broken. Literally like her life is destroyed and to a point I understand that it may be. In my recent dealings with relationships I feel like I've come to understand them more than most people would expect me to. When you share your life with someone as much as Sakura has with Sasuke over the past few years, you begin to share some of yourself, kinda like Hinata and I are starting to. Giving little bits of yourself and your heart along the way until you both become one soul. Sakura has given nearly her all to Sasuke since they were children and what he hadn't taken shattered when he left.

"He's gone." Sakura's whispered sob nearly brought me to my knees. This is real. He left. Again. And this time there's no bringing him back. He didn't leave to get stronger to reach a goal, this time he left because he couldn't stand to be with us. That thought left a bitter taste in my mouth as I crossed the room to sit on the bed with Sakura.

"I know," I replied in much the same way. "I know." Sitting down at the head of the bed, leaning against the frame, I reached for Sakura. After I brought her into my lap and hugged her tighter than ever before, she broke down, for what I can only assume isn't the first time. I never realized how small Sakura was until this moment. She's even smaller than Hinata, who's a good head shorter than me. It's sad when you discover that hidden behind the tough exterior of a kunoichi with monstrous strength and a temper that's quick to ignite is the girl that sits on my lap. One that loves unabashedly and wholly, one that disliked me for me in the beginning and not for reasons adults tried to instill, one who believed in me first when others discounted the loud-mouth blond, one who has feelings much the same as us, one whose love and feelings were crushed and whose heart has been scarred more times than most can survive.

I hugged Sakura to my chest until I began to hear her quiet down. Once I was sure she was asleep I went to lay her back down on the bed. "Don't go" I heard whispered almost unconsciously. After realizing that one teammate and lover left her while the other teammate didn't notice, I decided that Sakura shouldn't be left alone after suffering in silence for nine days. Picking her up bridal style, I once again noted how small and light she was. I carried Sakura through the apartment and out the busted front door. She began to stir as I made my way over the rooftops. "Where are we going?" Asked Sakura in a low voice hoarse from all her crying and still tired from sleep.

"We're going to stay at my place. You shouldn't stay there anymore. Go back to sleep." I replied, trying to keep her calm and not reawaken her memories. Thankfully Kami was on my side for once today and let her drift back into slumber. I thanked him again when we didn't run across any of our comrades on the way to my place, I couldn't explain this to anyone yet.

I landed soundlessly on my window balcony with Sakura still asleep in my arms. After creeping through my permanently unlocked window, I went over to my bed and laid Sakura down gently. She looked so at peace, except for the tear streaks down her cheeks no one would know that her whole world had been turned upside down. At that thought a wave of guilt and anger washed through me at how I was unable to see her pain. I turned to go and fall asleep, or pretend to, on the couch in my living room when I felt a tug at the back of my shirt as I tried to move. Turning around again to look at my pink haired friend I saw that she was awake and blank green eyes stared back at me. "Don't go." She said for the second time that night, and I found that I couldn't escape the iron grip she had on my shirt. So I did the only thing left to do, I scooted Sakura over on the bed before I laid next to her and brought her in a tight embrace against my chest. The next thing I heard nearly blew my mind. "I'm sorry." At first I thought that I had mistaken her because she was buried in my tight hold but she looked up at me with moist eyes before repeating herself. "I'm sorry."

I actually felt myself stop breathing as she said those words for the second time. I glanced down at her in awe, wondering what possessed her to apologize to me. Staring at her for a few more seconds, flicking my gaze between her two emerald eyes, I shifted and moved us both into a sitting position on my bed. As bright green met confused blue again Sakura decided to clarify her statement.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't keep him here with us. I'm sorry that I let him get the best of me again. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough for him and everyone. And I'm sorry for all the pain you must be feeling." As she finished her statement a lone tear escaped my her left eye which was soon brushed away by my right hand. As I brought my other hand up to cup her other cheek I stared at her with an intensity many wouldn't believe could come from me. Most believed that I was still the knucklehead that they saw when I was a child pulling pranks. Truth was that I had matured a lot over the years and while I'll still be the most unpredictable ninja in this village, I'll also be the one who can be counted on first. As I grew up I did exactly that, grew up and began to mellow with age. I still acted like a child sometimes and got reprimanded for that but I attribute that to never having a stable childhood, I truthfully enjoy when Sakura or Granny Tsunade scold me. But while I was feeling the pain that Sakura was talking about I knew that having the both of us floundering in despair would get neither of us anywhere near healed. I had to be the rock that she needed to keep her from drowning in her own self-doubt. My time to grieve will come later, besides her loss was so much more profound than my own. I may have lost a best friend and teammate but Sakura lost everything, her teammate, best friend, lover, her sense of self.

"Sakura." I wait for her eyes to meet mine again. "There is no way what that selfish bastard did is in anyway your fault. He made his choice and while I disagree with what he did, it was still his own decision and had _nothing_ to do with you. I don't want to hear you blaming something that no one could have predicted or prevented. Hell I didn't notice he was gone, honestly, I blame myself too." I said the last part in recollection of the fact that I let them down just as much as Sasuke let everyone in this village down. I feel so raw when I think on the hostile letter he left us. Then I remember that this didn't happen today even if it seems like it did to me. He left nine days ago. I look down at my hands and clench my fists when I think about all the pain that she went through because of my ignorance. I could have helped her, done something to make her believe none of this was her fault instead of letting her wallow in her own feelings. It was then that I felt two hands grip my face and almost forcefully pull my tearful gaze to their intended target.

Her green eyes held a fire and strength that I was shocked she possessed at this moment. "This is no way your fault either. I didn't want to be found and honestly I didn't know how to tell you. You and him.." I noticed she choked on her last word and that she hasn't used his name once since I found her this morning. "You and him were finally putting things back together like they used to be and I didn't want to be the one who broke that dream. I needed this time to sort through my own feelings and I'm glad that I had that time alone no matter how guilty you may feel about it. _But_ now that you're here.." Sakura hugged me and leaned back onto the bed taking me with her before whispering in my ear. "I just want you to hold me." Wrapping my arms around her back I pulled her closer and with both of us forgetting everything else we fell asleep in each other's embrace while the sun rose to its peak outside as life in Konoha resumed as usual.

April 25th

**Sakura:**

I awoke with a massive headache, like I had most mornings in the past week, from crying myself to sleep at night. It couldn't have been past eight in the morning but I knew that I needed to start my day, as a shinobi your day usually starts at six in the morning. Naruto now knew that _he_ was gone which most likely meant that Tsunade and probably a few other people already knew as well. I tried to postpone this day for so long but it was going to come eventually, I couldn't hide his disappearance for long. But what I had told Naruto last night was true, I really did need that time alone to myself. I got angry and broke most everything in our apartment, then I cried for what I can only assume was days. By the time that Naruto discovered he was gone I was already numb and seeing Naruto had only reopened the wounds I had just about healed. So here I lay with my best friend and Konoha's most impulsive ninja in a position that most would deem scandalous, my face pressed into his chest by the arm wrapped around my back in a vice-like grip with our legs intertwined below us. I brought my arms up in front of me that had been resting at his waist and gently push against Naruto in an attempt to get him to release me or to wake him up.

At hearing his grunt of protest at trying to be woken up I push him again and speak softly. "Naruto, we need to wake up. I probably should go see the Hokage." From where I was laying I could see every expression on the young ninja's face as he woke up, first disorientation at arriving into consciousness, then confusion at what I was saying and finally dejected understanding that yesterday did happen and we have to deal with it. "I need to go get some clothes to change into before we.." I was cut off as Naruto's hand shot up in front of me effectively telling me to stop talking.

"Hinata brought you some clothes and other stuff late yesterday after she saw me bring you here and came to ask what happened." I could tell that he wasn't pleased that people were already starting to find out that he left again. I honestly wasn't too thrilled about it either but like how Naruto would find out eventually so would everyone else, at least I won't have to tell anyone. We both got dressed quickly after Naruto handed me what Hinata brought. Neither of us were uncomfortable changing in front of one another anymore. We'd been on enough missions together and see too much of each other's body to feel embarrassed by showing our own to the other. Hell we even lost our virginity to each other after Naruto defeated Pein and we discovered that so much could be taken from us at any moment. To say it was awkward would understate it but to deny the fact that he was so caring and gentle wouldn't do him justice. Both of us knew that it was a one-time thing and that the feelings we wanted to be there after a near death experience just weren't there, that's why we're such good friends I think. We moved on, just like we can move on from this.

Upon arriving at the Hokage's building we were promptly ushered into her office. I could tell by Shizune's consoling glance that she knew what we were here for and that things were just beginning. Upon arriving in the Hokage's office I was shocked to see all of the rookie nine and the remaining members of Team Gai. No one but Hinata looked at us with dejected glances just curious ones so that must mean that Tsunade hadn't told anyone about his leaving again. So much for not having to tell anyone. Everyone seemed at ease in there, Shikamaru leaning casually against the wall with Ino on one side and Choji munching on chips on his other, Kiba sat on the floor with Akamaru and Shino and Hinata stood above the two, I noted that Sai stood in the corner by himself, and sitting in the chairs in front of the Hokage's desk being the first to probably arrive were Lee and Tenten who was hugging herself as if she was cold, a habit she picked up after Neji died. I don't know if she ever got the chance to tell him how much she loved him but regardless you can tell that his death broke the strong kunoichi a little. They were all clearly curious as to why eleven of Konoha's top jonin were called to the Hokage's office. She must want us to tell what I thought she would as I glared at her through narrow eyes, my ire rising. She undoubtedly detected my anger because it was then that she chose to speak to everyone.

"Now that you are here we might as well brief everyone intimately involved on the coming situation we need to deal with." Tsunade began with a glance at Naruto and me. Everyone then looked at us one more time with confused gazes. "I think that you should tell them." She spoke while looking pointedly at me. It was that moment that everyone in the room shifted to stare at me waiting for whatever it was that they were summoned there for.

I can't do this I thought as I desperately tried to come up with reasons to not respond. The whole reason no one found out til over a week after he left was because I couldn't tell anyone. Now after all that she wants me to tell everyone who he'd become friends with in one large confession. No way I can do this. It was then that I felt Naruto's hand encircle mine. "You can do this Pink."

Hearing the endearment that I only let Naruto use, I felt my strength return momentarily as I spoke. "He left." I said in a rush. Naruto squeezed my hand again to reassure me.

"What?" Ino was the first to ask what I just said seeing as I spoke it barely above a whisper.

"Who left?" Kiba asked because with his senses he undoubtedly heard me. "You said someone left. Who?" And thankfully it was that moment that Naruto decided to speak, knowing that I couldn't say his name.

"Sasuke." He spoke with finality. Everyone in the room spent the next minute mulling over what they just heard, trying to piece together what it meant. Choji even stopped munching on his chips.

"What do you mean he left?" Shikamaru questioned being the first to recover. Both Naruto and I glanced at Hinata with gratitude as she spoke up, saying what neither of us wanted to say.

"Sasuke left ten days ago. He placed Sakura under a genjutsu before he came here early in the morning and left Lady Tsunade a scroll explaining his actions." Hinata then gestured toward Tsunade's desk where the scroll with the Uchiha symbol resided on the top. I'm still amazed at the confidence the young woman has gained when speaking to large groups of people, she no longer stutters. Lee was the first to react this time.

"What! He tried to harm our cherry blossom! " Lee shouted to no one in particular and then promptly began babbling about beating him with his youth.

This was followed by Tenten standing up from her chair and rushing over to me. I was taken aback when she spoke, so full of emotion. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

At this my eyes began to well up again. But I began to calm down when I saw the scroll resting on top of the Hokage's desk. I didn't know that he left a note, I thought that the message he gave me was his only goodbye, it was so confusing. That must have been how Naruto and Shishou found out about his departure. Although I was surprised at the amount of time I spent hidden away. Nine days. He's been gone for over a week, he must be out of Fire Country by now. I wonder where he went. I was broken out of my musings as the scroll was handed to me by Shikamaru. He had already read it and was passing it to me. _Oh Kami…_

"What does this mean Lady Hokage?" Shikamaru asked, always the one to want to figure out the next move.

"I would say we should send out a retrieval team to detain him like we would with any missing nin. _However_ this isn't any missing nin, this is Sasuke Uchiha, he evaded us for _years_ and when we did contact him Konoha almost lost many of their best shinobi. That and based off the response he said he'd have toward Konoha nin, it's likely that our only option is patience." Neither Tsunade nor anyone in the room looked pleased with this direction but no one knew what else to do, nearly everyone in here had almost been killed by him when he defected the first time, who's to say he won't do that again. My face was pale whenever I began to hear Tsunade talking, finally listening in when she spoke his name. I couldn't believe the stuff he said in that scroll. Attack on site orders. Either he's cracked again, which I found unlikely or he truly began to despise his life in Konoha. This revelation made me feel worse. But one thing did plague my mind after I read through the scroll.

"What'd he regret?" I asked, interrupting whatever discussion Shikamaru and Kiba were having with the Hokage. "In the scroll he said he had one regret and right before he left me he felt regret. What'd he regret?" My question obviously confused most of the people there and when I mentioned him feeling regret their faces looked questioning even more, some looked downright baffled. I clarified by adding onto my statement. "Long before he left that morning he trapped me in a sleep genjutsu and I began to dream. It was then that I started to see our relationship from _his_ view. Every important meeting we had since before I even agreed to go on that first date was replayed from his view and I got to experience his feelings during each encounter. It was like I was looking into his memories of us." At this I could feel myself getting distant in my recount of those dreams that I had been so excited about at first. "He then went on to show me all of our best dates and major arguments, he even showed me his feelings during _that_ incident." I paused here after whispering the last part, wondering if I should continue with this story, not even the Hokage knew what I'd experienced under genjutsu, but a nod from her assured me that I was doing the right thing. "I then began to re-experience everything that happened between us the night before and in the early morning hours before he left. At the end of the last memory everything in the genjutsu began to shift. The last thing I remember him saying was 'Thank you.'" My voice cracked on the last word, I could feel myself becoming more emotional as I retold that night. He said the same thing to me before he knocked me unconscious the first time he left all those years ago. The poetic injustice wasn't lost on anyone. "I saw him from a third person's view but I could still feel his feelings. I felt regret." Everyone nodded now as they understood my previous statement. I continued as tears streamed down my cheeks. "He told me he was sorry he couldn't be what I deserved and that he was sorry he was leaving again but one day he hoped I'd understand he wasn't meant to be with us." I knew I sounded bitter but how was I supposed to feel, the man I loved left me twice, that only happens to fools. "So what'd he regret? Me? What, dating me or leaving? Neither sound all too comforting." I could tell that everyone was looking at me now with sympathetic looks, even Naruto, but I didn't want their pity. "What?! No body want to say it? What do you think Shishou?" I yelled while placing my hands on my hips glaring at the older woman.

"Lady Tsunade I just got word from the gate guards that they see Kakashi in the distance. Should I have them tell him to come here immediately upon arrival to the village?" Shizune questioned as she peaked her head through the door, interrupting whatever Tsunade would have said.

"Yes, make sure they make him understand that this is urgent." She spoke to Shizune while glaring at me. "You may all leave." She was still glaring at me and only once everyone except Naruto, Sai and I left did she look away from me down at her hands resting on the desk. "I know you're angry Sakura, you've had time to think about this and while you may be moving on trying to heal your own wounds, some of us aren't at that angry stage yet." It was then that she gestured to Naruto, who was looking at the ground kicking his feet, ignorant of the fact we were talking about him. I walked over to the wall and slid down with a thud, ending our conversation. I felt like I was going to burst into tears any second, what happened to being numb. Had telling everyone brought this to the forefront? I couldn't ignore it like I had whenever I began to feel nothing. Will I ever be able to feel anything or see anyone without wanting to cry?

After two minutes of silence, everyone pointedly avoiding each other's gaze, there was a knock on the door. Kakashi walked in after hearing Tsunade's loud 'Enter'. He looked like he just returned from a long mission that didn't go as he planned. He had dirt and blood all over and in his hair, with kunai nicks over his arms from deflecting attacks. He looked travel weary and ready to collapse any second. His one lazy eye glanced at the occupants of the room, scrutinizing each one until they returned to our Hokage. "Lady Hokage you asked to see me. The mission was a success and th.." Kakashi began to speak before he was interrupted by Tsunade holding up a hand.

"That's not why I asked you to be here Hatake. There have been some recent _developments_ that you must be brought up to speed on before you hear it from someone else." At this I could clearly see Kakashi tense from my position on the floor, he was probably preparing himself for the worst. Someone died. But while this wasn't as morbid as that, to me it felt just as devastating. To try and ease his obvious discomfort and to make myself feel a little better I interjected in the Hokage's speech.

"No one died Sensei." I could tell my eyes probably looked as dead as my voice sounded when I spoke, trying to hide the turmoil that was running rampant in me. But it had the desired effect. I never called him Sensei anymore, we were equally ranked and he stopped being my sensei when I turned thirteen and began working with Tsunade nearly eight years ago. But he eased at my statement and the addition of the old honorific. That lasted shortly though as Naruto decided to interject as well.

"Sasuke left." I felt my heart tighten at those words and I could see Kakashi tense for the second time. He probably felt every feeling of guilt we all felt. He was gone on a mission when his protégé defected a second time and he had taught _him_ everything he knew. This was personal for us all.

Kakashi spoke calmly as he voiced his only question. "When?"

It was Tsunade who spoke first, "Ten days ago. We won't be going after him like the last time, he left this message and that's the best course of action we could discern." She tossed the scroll to Kakashi who caught it deftly. After perusing the contents Kakashi tossed it back to Tsunade before responding.

"Am I dismissed?" He sounded so calm but those of us who knew him knew better. It's what's underneath the underneath.

"You're all dismissed. And I'm giving all of Team Kakashi a few weeks off. I'll do an evaluation in a few weeks to decide if you can resume missions." Tsunade spoke as I pulled myself off the floor and headed toward the exit.

None of us spoke until we left the building. Sai just kept walking, having not said a single thing the entire time. Naruto promptly gave a meek goodbye/glad you're okay to Kakashi and I before running off. Probably to go cuddle up with Hinata I thought. Wow I sound like a total spiteful bitch. Why am I mad that Naruto has someone to comfort him when I don't, it's not his fault he found love that lasts. My inner rants about how vindictive I've become ended with me realizing that I was still standing next to Kakashi. Neither of us had said anything. He looked like he was thinking about something intently when I clasped his hand and tugged him forward. Looking a little shocked at the sudden movement, something that rarely happened to the infamous Copy-nin. "I still don't really want to be alone now." After having nine days to myself the prospect of solitude scared me and Kakashi is the only one close enough to the situation to make me feel comfortable. He nodded mutely as I walked down the street, our hands still clasped.

**Kakashi:**

I didn't realize until I was in front of Sakura's building that we had been holding hands the entire trek from the Hokage's office. I immediately pulled my hand from her grasp, not being all that comfortable with touch. Spacing out wasn't something that I usually did either and the fact that I had spaced out for a good five minutes freaked me out a little, even when I was reading Icha Icha I still had a good sense of my surroundings. And in all honesty I didn't know what to think about current developments, I hadn't thought of anything from the time the Hokage dismissed us until now, my mind was void of all thought. Now the only thing on my mind was finding the truth.

I was shocked to say the least whenever we appeared before her door, or lack thereof. Her entire apartment looked like a tornado blew through it. All the furniture was broken and upheaved, shattered glass littered the floor everywhere. She would have seen my mouth agape if it weren't for the mask I wore.

"This was the aftermath of me finally not pitying myself and getting angry." Sakura spoke timidly, as if she was embarrassed by her actions. Honestly I'm surprised that she didn't destroy the whole building with the monstrous strength that resides in the small girl by my side. "After I released all of this I started to feel numb, until everyone else found out about him leaving."

"What do you mean until everyone else found out?" Her statement confused me, how did no one know Sasuke Uchiha deserted.

"He told me he was leaving through a genjutsu he trapped me in. I stayed in here for days apparently, I was trying to figure out how to tell everyone he left." The pink haired girl's statements baffled me. She kept this hidden for fear of everyone else's reactions? "I guess it wasn't until yesterday morning that Tsunade discovered that scroll and that he left." She shrugged. These mood swings were shocking, one second she's nonchalant then the next she's angry then in the following she looks like she's about to fall into a fit of tears. I of all people understood that the pink haired kunoichi held her heart on her sleeve but over the years it's become an asset in her medical training, but her emotions seems so unstable. I also began to notice that she never spoke Sasuke's name, only referring to the boy simply as him or he. Now that I thought about it, she's been alone with this massive curse for nine days, anyone would be erratic or even unhinged after that. I was silent for a moment as I contemplated what we should do next. Her apartment was in obvious disarray and unlivable. I was in deep thought once again and her soft words barely registered in my brain. "I just wish I could feel numb again." She spoke wistfully look at the carnage that was her apartment. She needed out of here. Now.

"I know a way to feel numb. At least it always helped me." I piped in, hoping to convey the empathy I felt. She looked up at me, almost surprised that I heard her and was responding. She nodded her approval and I led her down the stairs into the streets of Konoha and the sun was starting to set.

The sun was saying its final goodbyes as we reached our destination. I didn't know how Sakura was going to react to my suggestion but at this point I didn't care, I was doing this for myself now as much as I was for her. I paused in front of the entrance waiting for Sakura to catch up, physically and mentally, to where we were. Once she finally noticed that I'd stopped walking, she shifted her gaze from me to the sign above the door in front of me. Her gaze turned suspicious when she looked back up at me.

"You're bringing me to a bar." She asked incredulously.

"Numb is the desired effect. Drinking always worked for me." Still looking skeptical I opened the door and gestured for her to enter first. Not being one to open up to anyone really I decided to leave out that I started drinking at thirteen when I thought I lost Obito and then spiraled from there when a year later I lost Sensei and then Rin shortly after. While I knew that this wasn't a permanent solution I also knew that Sakura was an adult and not a child like I was when I started to drown my grief. In all honesty, I wanted to drown myself again.

The piece of me that was glued back on when we brought Sasuke back seems to have chipped away again and I don't know how much of me is left. To most I seem like an unemotional perverted yet skillful ninja. Most of the surviving shinobi in my class are the same way, we all have our scars left over from war and loss. Until Kurenai and Asuma no one had settled down and look where that got her, pregnant and a widow. Genma and Shizune are probably the only other people who actively try to remain in a monogamous relationship. But considering that they were a thing way before Shizune left to travel with Tsunade, it's not all that surprising that they got back together eventually. The rest of us are too afraid of loss or too fucked up like Anko, Kami knows what that snake did to her, to want anything permanent. We all flit around from one short term physical relationship to the next, never staying long enough to garner emotional attachments.

We walk over to the bar and I sit in my usual seat while Sakura occupies what used to be Genma's seat, before I lost my wingman to love. I order the cheapest bottle of sake and we sit in silence. She's looking down at her hands like she might burst into tears any second from where I'm looking at her. Thankfully the sake arrives quickly and I pour out two cups. I tip mine in her direction as a small cheers before I down it. Sakura is staring at the cup in her hand and I question whether she's going to drink or not, but she looks up at me determined and again I'm shocked by her mood swings, "To emotions, may we not feel them by the end of the night." And with that she downs her cup before pouring us another round.

**Sakura:**

I can't count how many drinks of sake I've had already tonight but who cares. Kakashi was right, drinking is good for numbing. If I had discovered this last week, maybe I'd have had the courage to tell everyone sooner. Oh well, it's sure fun now. Maybe I can even get him to take that blasted mask off. Hmmm.. sounds like a good plan. Anything is better than feeling.

September 29th

**Kakashi:**

It's been over five months since Sasuke left. Everyone is trying to move on and it's a blessing that all of those involved had someone to comfort them over the betrayal. Ino and Shikamaru got engaged a little over a month after he left, and Naruto finally asked Hinata to be his girlfriend. This incident led some of the Rookie Nine to settle down with whoever they were seeing at the time, Shino is seeing a civilian girl and Kiba is even dating Hanabi, much to Hiashi's displeasure. I honestly felt bad for him, his two daughters are dating the loudest, most tactless ninja in all of Konoha. More reason for me to not settle down, no children, I've dealt with enough of them for a lifetime. Losing someone makes you want to grasp onto what you have even harder. However being the perpetual loner I had no one, and since Sasuke was all that Sakura had, she had no one either. We eventually came to a silent understanding and are there for each other now in our own ways.

We were all cleared to return to active duty within a month of the initial meeting. Sakura eventually picked up Tsunade's habit of heavily drinking during the day and I deigned to join her whenever neither of us had a mission. It was after a while that I began to notice Sakura hardening against most emotions, almost as if she was emulating me. Whenever we both had the day off we would meet in the same bar we were in the first time and drink, saying nothing except when ordering more. It was about two months ago that our relationship changed.

_- Two Months Ago – _

_I was going to the bar to meet Sakura like I did every Friday night. Upon arrival I immediately noticed the change in Sakura. She was laughing at something a random jonin was saying to her. I was shocked to say the least but didn't show it. She hasn't laughed since long before Sasuke left. It wasn't until I walked up to her that I realized she was already heavily intoxicated. If she hadn't gained the near immunity to alcohol that her shishou has then she'd probably be under the table by now, but as it stood she looked as if she was _flirting_ with the jonin._

_"KAKASHII! Glad to see you finally showed up!" By the look her companion gave me I could tell that he thought I was a threat. Honestly who wouldn't, I wasn't the infamous Copy-nin for nothing and my legendary prowess extended beyond the battlefield in most gossip circles. I smirked at his obvious distaste at my arrival but ignored him as I sat on the other seat next to Sakura._

_"I can see you already started without me. What's the motive for that?" I asked honestly curious about her answer. Neither of us usually drank to oblivion until the other was here, there was usually safety when drinking in numbers. One of us would be sober enough to drag the other one home with them, usually depositing them on the couch, we had a mutual understanding in most things._

_Sakura leaned toward me and whispered almost conspiratorially in my ear. "I'm trying to bag this guy. Decided to stop wallowing." With a wink at me she turned around and directed her attention back to the random jonin. Wallowing definitely wouldn't have been the word I would have used to describe what Sakura's been doing these past months. I'd call it coping but I guess that's just me. I probably sat there for a good minute with wide eyes before she turned back to me and spoke in a louder voice than the previous one, "I can help you pick someone up too. Kami knows neither of us has gotten much in a while." If my eyes could have gotten wider at that moment then they would have. She was trying to hook me up with someone. I had to admit though that I haven't been with a woman since Sasuke left but while I hadn't had a wingman for a while I merely attributed my temporary dry spell to not wanting to blow Sakura off. She appeared to be moving on and I wasn't about to pass up the chance to get some release._

_"I can handle things myself." I responded as I sidled off to the nearest blond._

We had begun to form a sort of quasi friendship. After that night, most of our drinking sessions turned into Sakura trying to bag someone of the male species while I either watched on or less often trying to get someone of my own. It wasn't until later that I realized that was Sasuke's birthday, never being one who's big on celebrating. Sakura hasn't tried to sleep with this many men in Konoha since Sasuke returned. At least she had standards and only slept with ANBU then, before she quit the organization and stopped her actions altogether. Now she appeared to want to bang anything of the male species that had even semi decent pickup lines. It was pretty entertaining some of the time, like when she slept with Izumo and Kotetsu back to back and they both found out a few days later. Who was I to judge though, however I did notice that I had started to drink less heavily to make sure that she wasn't going home with anyone that seemed dangerous. While she was no longer my student, I still felt duty to protect her as a teammate and now as a friend.

December 12th

**Sakura:**

Waking up with a start I initially feel the cold air against my skin. I wasn't covered and the cold air from winter outside drifted into my room. My new apartment wasn't as good at keep the temperature normal like the old that I shared with him. I sold the old place and moved in here shortly after telling everyone about his leaving. While I knew that I could afford a better place than this I also knew that would dig into my drinking funds, something I wasn't prepared to do yet. I'm living much like Kakashi. I would never tell him this but Kakashi's been an amazing friend through all of this. I wanted to feel numb and while some may not approve of my drinking at least I have someone who understands me even if I'll never fully understand him. He was invaluable when his birthday rolled around, that was the night that I decided to start sleeping my way through Konoha. I should probably thank him for this, I probably should have gotten him something more for his birthday besides buying drinks. Ehh.. not like he'd care, we're not that good of friends. I stop my musings and bolt to a sitting position when I hear a noise next to me in bed and clutch the sheet to my chest, for warmth and modesty. Most guys usually leave right after and those that stay usually try to sneak out early so this was a new experience.

I glance at my bedfellow and sit there for a few minutes admiring the view. He was lying on his stomach with the sheet pooled by his knees, covering nothing. I begin ogling him at his thighs and tight butt, glad that at least I pulled a shinobi last night because who else has an ass like that unless they're in some form of physical labor. I had begun sleeping with civilians after working my way through most of the shinobi population and I never repeated myself so I was shocked that I found another one. My gaze caressed over his back and the multitude of scars that reside there. _There must be so many stories behind all of those_, I thought as my vision reached his shoulders and arms, taunt skin stretched over powerful muscles that I knew could show grace and then kill the next instant. They moved as he shifted so his head was now lying on his right arm facing me. At that moment my breath catches as I shift my gaze from his arms to his head and straight into the eyes of my latest conquest. They just opened and are staring right back at me. We both jump back with a simultaneous, "What the hell?!"

…continued.

A/N: Getting juicy! The actual days of the week are arbitrary. When it involves only a few days difference I pay attention to what day of the week it is but if it's a few months then why would I try to figure that out. Honestly if you care then find out the days yourself and tell me, otherwise, ehh.. The updates are sporadic because I just post once I finish a chapter and review it. Once again not big on the whole planning everything out thing like when I have to finish chapters, length, and such; probably why this chapter will most like be one of the longer ones. School starts on the 26th so I'll try to write as much as possible before then and space out some of the updates because I have 16 credit hours and a 25 hour work week as well so I won't be able to write as much but I still want to update at least once a week. Sorry if Naruto seems kinda not very Naruto-like, but I can't make him an uncouth idiot when there's so much emotion in these first few chapters, someone has to be a rock and he always seemed like that type of person to me so I figured he could rise again to meet new challenges. Plus while I may not own him as a character I do own this plot line soooooooo I do what I want.

Disclaimer still applies.


	5. Chapter 5: Consequences

_We both jump back with a simultaneous, "What the hell?!"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 5: Consequences~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still December 12th

**Kakashi:**

Waking up this morning the first thing I thought was that this isn't my bed, too soft, and this definitely isn't my room, it smells like wild flowers and vaguely something familiar. From my view lying on the bed I could see an open closet filled with girl's clothes, at least that answers why I'm here. Now to find out whose bed I ended up in. I could see a dresser a few feet from me with pictures littered across it but they were indistinguishable at this distance. I'd get up but then that would mean I could wake up whoever is sleeping next to me. It may be cold in here but I'd rather try and sneak out regardless of my level of undress, hopefully I didn't snag a shinobi otherwise this just got infinitely more difficult. It was then that I heard my bedmate shift. That's unfortunate. Well now that they're awake I might as well see who they are.

Turning to face the other side I pillow my head on my arm. The first thing I notice is the blinding sun through the window casting a shadow over whoever it is in the bed with me. How does the sun shine so bright in the winter when it's so cold outside, you'd think that it would provide some heat but no just blinding light. I noticed her staring at me, eyes probably roving over my body. Not that I was conceited but I knew that I had a decent body, years as a high level shinobi does that to you. I smirked as I continued to watch the shadow figure blatantly check me out. I began to look her over, she seemed to have a pretty decent body, from what I could see shadowed behind the sheet she was using to cover up. She looked almost petite in all her features, small waist with delicate curves and what could only be toned muscles. Damn I did get a shinobi, but who do I know that looks like that. I closed my eyes trying to imagine a face for the body that sat before me but couldn't come up with one. I decided the only way to know is to see for myself so I smirked once more as I opened my eyes waiting for her reaction at who was in bed with her. That fell from my face the second her head shifted, blocking the sun and allowing me to get a view at my recent romp. What. The..

"What the hell?!" I yelled and shifted back, rolling and falling on my back to the ground with a thud, bringing the sheets tangled in my legs with me. Not very graceful for a shinobi. My partner did much the same thing but instead of the sheets going with her they fell from her grasp and she now sat on the floor. Naked.

"Oh my Kami! What the _fuck_ Kakashi! Why are you in my bed?!" Sakura screamed as she grabbed her pillow off the bed to cover herself up. I was honestly wondering the same thing myself. How did we end up here. In bed. Naked.

"I don't know!" I yelled, just as confused as she was. Two seconds later Sakura stopped looking panicked and was open mouthed staring at me. "What?" I cautiously asked.

"Yo.. you.. your face." She sounded absolutely speechless. What's wrong with my face I thought as I reached up and touched my cheek, feeling the bristle of having not shaven in a couple days. Oh shit. In my haste of discovering that I was lying naked with my former student and recently acquired friend, I neglected the fact that my face was just as cold as the rest of my body.

"My mask." I whispered, almost as shocked as she was. Sakura quickly covered her eyes as I scrambled up to find the one article of clothing I was never without. It was lying on the floor next to my pants and I grabbed both pieces of clothing and put them on quickly, too freaked out to look for my boxer briefs. I never took my mask off during sex, not unless they were someone like Anko who was okay with being blindfolded which isn't that common. Most women are okay with not having skin to skin kisses or they just want me to uncover my face which causes me to promptly leave their company. I don't think I've ever been unmasked in front of another woman I was involved with except Rin all those years ago. Not many people see the great Kakashi Hatake's face, mostly my peers that I trust enough like Kurenai, the late Asuma, Genma, Gai and my old team all those years ago, and most haven't even had glances at it except the Hokage, Shizune, Jiraiya and some of the other jonin in my class. How did I let that happen, I asked myself running my hand through my already unruly hair. I stare wide eyed at Sakura until I realize she's still naked and avert my eyes, a blush creeping over my cheeks. Good thing I put my mask back on before she could see that.

"Uhm.. I'll just be in the other room. We should probably talk." I say facing the wall.

"Yeah, alright. Just go. Now." She responds before I leave the room. Sakura sounded frustrated but why wouldn't she? I'm just as confused and frustrated about this situation as she is. Sitting on the couch waiting for Sakura, I decided to delve into my memories of last night, or lack thereof, searching for answers to how we ended up in bed together.

**Sakura:**

Sitting on the floor of my room I place my face in my hands until I hear my bedroom door click shut. Once I know he's in the living room and not about to burst through the door again I throw the pillow that was covering me and stand up to grab some fresh clothes from my closet before heading to the attached bathroom. I step into the steaming shower and let all of my thoughts float away. Just standing in the heat lets me forget that I have to face a major disaster when I leave this warm cocoon of obliviousness. Groaning as the water begins to cool I turn off the faucet and step out of the shower into the much cooler air. Back to reality I muse to myself as I wipe the condensation from the mirror to look at myself. I stare at my reflection and wonder how it got to this point. When did I start drinking so much that I honestly can't remember most nights of the week, let alone remember half of the people I slept with. I had thought that what I was doing was letting me move on from _him_ but now I feel like I did all those years ago when he left the first time. I did the same thing and wallowed in my own self-pity for months before I got a swift kick in the rear by Tsunade and only then did I try to turn my life around. Is this my new rock bottom? Sleeping with my old sensei. Definitely a new low. Kami how did I let it get this bad? When did I become that _weak_ little girl again I question myself and hear an audible crack. Staring down at the counter I realize that I gripped the edge tight enough to cause noticeable cracks along the top. Letting go of the broken counter that I'm now going to have to fix, I stare up at myself with new resolve. No more drinking, no more letting this get to me.

"No more letting him get to me." I say out loud as if solidifying my resolution and with that I dress and head out to the living room to face the inevitably most awkward encounter of my life.

I arrive in the living room and immediately feel guilty for acting so curt towards Kakashi. He looks so disordered and that would never be a word I'd use to describe the great Copy-nin, he may be perpetually late but he's never unprepared. Concrete proof of his disorientation was when I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder to get his attention and he actually jumped like he didn't know I was there.

"Sorry, didn't mean to creep up on you." I apologize even though I feel like I should also apologize for my tone earlier. "What had you so preoccupied that you didn't notice me?"

He stares up at me for a good ten seconds before letting his breath out. "I was trying to figure out how we ended up in bed together and what happened last night."

"I think I know what happened last night." I snort, trying to lighten the mood but he looks at me with a now's-not-the-time face. "Riiiiight. Sorry, I get it. I don't remember anything either and it's really annoying to me too."

"This situation is more than 'annoying' Sakura." He says in the old voice he used when I was a genin and he was reprimanding me. "We've been put in a horrible position."

"Okay, listen, I know that it's not ideal that we most likely slept together but you don't have to make it sound like it's the worst thing in the world to have slept with me." I retort, slightly hurt by his words. Taking a seat across from him in an armchair, I cross my ankles and tuck them underneath me, staring down at my hands in my lap.

"Sakura.." Kakashi speaks in a softer voice than before. "You know this has nothing to do with that. It's just.." I look up then and see him running his hand through his gravity defying hair again. That's probably a nervous habit he has that I've never noticed, I think to myself. He stands up and starts pacing as he speaks again, probably having already thought about all this while I was in my shower cocoon. "You were my student. Do you know what this looks like? If anyone found out then they'd think this has been going on for a while or I was thinking things before you were of age. While shinobi do have different social standards than civilians this is just too taboo to be ignored. Not to mention we're also teammates. How do you think this is going to affect our team dynamics? We can try and pretend this didn't happen and I'm okay with that. I don't know, what do you think?" Wow that is probably the most I've ever heard Kakashi speak in one go where it doesn't involve a mission. He then looks at me, as if asking for confirmation of his assessment.

"Yes, I get what this looks like but that's not what it is. And since when do you care what the social circles are saying about you, Mr. I-read-porn-in-public. Yeah, it's taboo but as far as I'm concerned no one is ever going to find out so no one will judge us. Team dynamics? I'm pretty sure that morale was more affected when we lost a member a few months ago. We'll just keep this to ourselves. No one has to know. Period." I finish and give him a stern look. Knowing that one of us has to be firm and he seems too freaked out about sleeping with a former student to be of any help. "We'll figure everything else out along the way. Just get your stuff and go home, take a long shower and forget about this whole thing." I smile, trying to reassure him before I look back down again. Kakashi heads back to my bedroom and doesn't come out so I only assume that he's left through the window in there. Getting up from my position in the chair I head to my room to go shut the open window and contemplate all that's happened in the last twenty four hours.

_- Last Night -_

_"You need to loosen up a bit Kakashi." I say after downing what was probably my twelfth cup of sake._

_"Don't worry about me. I'm just here to drink tonight." Kakashi replies, tipping his cup in my direction during his statement._

_"Well I think that any time is a good time, you never know, stuff can sneak up on you." I cryptically respond. Then I order another bottle of sake and pour two cups. Placing mine to the side I glance over at Kakashi and notice that he's looking away at the crowd. Grabbing the container from my pocket I remove two pills from it and crush one up after taking the other, chasing it with my cup of sake. I drop most of the crushed up pill powder into the other cup of sake and slide it to the other side of me. "Here you go Kakashi. This one's on me but don't expect anymore."_

_"Thanks Sakura." Kakashi replies with his usual eye crinkle that lets us know he's probably smiling behind that mask. Well, let's see where this is going to go I smile to myself._

What?! I mentally scream, waking up from the mini nap I must have begun when I laid back down. No freaking way did I drug Kakashi. Oh Kami. That means this whole thing is my fault right? But that was just a beta blocker, nothing big that would change him just something to loosen him up and make him relax, I take them all the time after work. Speaking of… I glance at the clock and notice that it's half til nine. Time to head to work, I'm probably going to be too distracted by recent events to get there on time if I leave later.

Walking down the street the first thing that hits me is Ino. Once again she literally hits me. What is wrong with her I wonder as I rub the sore spot on my head. And people thought that I was the violent one, I sure do feel sorry for Shikamaru.

"What's the deal, why are you distracted? Ooooh did you have really great sex last night? Details!" Ino screeches as she death grips my arm. I swear, now that she's engaged she's become more interested in my 'vibrant' sex life as she refers to it. It's as if she never gets any, which I know isn't true because after I tell about my recent sex-scapade she proceeds to talk about her night even though I didn't ask.

"Well…" As I try and think back on last night I get another glimpse into last night's activities.

_- Last Night -_

_"Ahhh! Oh Kami... Ahhh... " I moan louder than I ever have and grip the sheet tight. Who knew he was that good with his mouth? No wonder he keeps his face hidden away, the things he can do with it. That was my last coherent thought as I climaxed for the second time that night, greatly anticipating the next few._

"Uh Forehead?" I look at Ino and see that she's staring at me all weird.

"What?" I genuinely question, feeling the blush on my face at remembering part of last night.

"Wha..? Oh my Kami! You're blushing! That means you were thinking about last night, he must have been amazing to make you blush like that at just a memory." Ino whistles after the last part. Honestly, we're twenty one year old women not some horny teenage boys.

"It's none of your business Pig, but if you must know then yes, I was thinking about last night. But only part of it because I don't remember the whole thing." I retort, slightly embarrassed that I'm admitting this after my resolution I made this morning but also glad that it won't happen again.

"Well he must have been good if you only remember part of it and it was still fantastic." She states before turning to face me fully. "Well I'm going to let you get to work. I have to work in the flower shop today. Don't be a stranger!" She calls over her shoulder as she's walking away. When did we get here? My auto pilot must be pretty damn good if I got here with Ino when neither of us was paying attention to direction. Or at least I wasn't.

**Kakashi:**

Upon arriving in my apartment the first thing I do is strip down again and head to the bathroom. Starting at the door I drop my jacket at the entrance next to my boots, stepping up I pull my vest off and then yank my shirt up over my head and drop them on the ground as I continue walking toward my bathroom. Picking these clothes up later will be easier than spending time thinking over how I got them off the first time. I pulled my pants off as I reached the bathroom door and slammed it shut before turning the shower on blast. Staring at myself in the mirror I begin to notice telltale signs about what occurred last night. Leaning toward the mirror I reach up and touch a tender spot by my collarbone and realize that the marks there are from her biting me. Almost hesitantly I turn to look at my back and see scratches running from my shoulder blades to nearly my hips. Being a shinobi, I, along with most other shinobi, have a weird relationship with pain. While most civilians shy away from pain, shinobi embrace it during battle and use it to keep them moving forward toward the objective and in the wake of that most shinobi are masochists and enjoy things a little rough sometimes. This was presumably one of those times.

_- Last Night –_

_"Ahhh!" Oh Kami I could get used to that moan. I can vaguely feel a sting of pain on my back as Sakura drags her hands down it. "Ah.. Kakashiii!" And that face, man if she keeps making that face every time she comes then I'm not going to last as long as I'd hoped. I smirk as I keep up my rhythm, waiting for her to ride out her high, only one way to find out._

It wasn't until the mirror fogged that I realized I had been standing for quite some time and had left the shower running. Turning away from my reflection I walk into the shower and stand directly under the spray of water. Letting the heat permeate me to the core, I stand there and take a deep breath, forgetting this morning, the stinging on my back and everything that I'm going to have to deal with later. I could have stood there for hours if the water didn't turn cold but sadly that couldn't happen. Stepping out of my bathroom in my towel I glance at the clock on my wall and realize that it's only ten and I still have a whole day to deal with this morning instead of escaping into the obliviousness of sleep. Groaning I pull the towel off my waist and begin to towel dry my hair into its trademark unruliness. It was at that precise moment that the door to my apartment opens. It would have been locked if I wasn't a shinobi, but it wasn't because I don't have anything of value and who would steal from shinobi. Anyone would have also assumed that most people would knock before making unexpected visits. Of course I should have assumed otherwise because my _friends_ aren't most people.

"Whoa, my bad Kakashi. Holy shit how did you get those scratches?"

I turn around mask-less, and naked, to face my uninvited guest with a glare that could kill plants before speaking. "Genma. What did I tell you about just coming in here? Didn't you get it last time when you walked in on my 'friend' and she slapped you?" Genma may be an idiot sometimes but he's like Naruto, inside he's really a genius.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that." Why do I even bother.. "Wait, she's not here right now, is she? Is she the one who gave you all those wicked love marks?" Genma's voice just kept getting louder with every sentence and you could almost infer that he was excited that I got all scratched up. Which if she was here would have earned him another slap. Here we go.

"No, Genma, she's not here, no one's here, and she isn't the one who gave me these scratches, I fell off a tree while reading." If I don't cover this up now, regardless of the lame excuse, then he's bound to question Shizune about it, and with her working so close to Sakura, I don't want to risk anyone finding out.

"Well do what you got to do to fix those because the Hokage summoned us. We have a mission." While Genma may not always have the best timing, sometimes he really does.

"Great, who's on the team?" I questioned as I started to get dressed.

"You and me obviously, and Aoba and Raido. The four of us haven't been on a mission since before the war. I can't wait!" Sometimes Genma gets as cheerful about missions as Naruto but missions are money. While most skilled jonin like us don't have to worry about money, the village as a whole does and we all understand that the village's coffers are running low after the post-war rebuild.

"Me neither. Let's go." I respond as I stand up straight and put my mask and forehead protector on.

**Sakura:**

Today is not my day. Not only did I wake up to find out that I got drunk and slept with my former sensei but I've been having partial recall ever since. And they come at the most inconvenient moments, like when I'm filling out paperwork at the nurse's station where anyone who walks by can see that I'm flustered. It may sound horrible if I ever voiced this but I'm sincerely hoping for a trauma that takes up the rest of my day so I can focus on something else.

"Sakura, there's another patient for you. It's urgent." Megumi, one of my favorite nurses, tells me as she walks back to the station to hand me a chart. Considering the lack of urgency in her demeanor it must not be trauma urgent but about-to-leave-for-a-mission urgent. I snatch the chart from her hands and head in the direction of room listed on the front of the folder. As I stalk to the room I'm bustling with ideas on how to impress upon whatever idiot it is that got themselves injured right before they're leaving for a mission. Stopping before the correct door I pause and take a deep breath before busting into the room ready to preach about mission preparedness. My mind goes blank and my mouth is left open when all the words I was going to say leave me as I stare at the rooms occupants. This is a joke I'm hoping. I look at the chart in my hands and stare at the name written neatly on the tab of the folder next to the room number sticker. Still shocked I bring my gaze back up to the room's occupants.

"Sakura" Kakashi nods at me when he realizes I'm too shocked to say anything. He's probably guessing that I didn't look at the name otherwise I wouldn't have come here and he would have been correct. Anyone of the other staff could have handled this but of course it had to be me because no matter how small of an injury I'm the only medic who ever treated any of the members of Team Kakashi or the former Team 7.

"Uhm, Hi." I respond dumbly when nothing else comes to mind. I turn around as I place the chart on the counter and mentally slap myself. Idiot. Turning around I glance between Genma and Kakashi, lingering more on Genma to avoid Kakashi without being obvious. "So what's the issue? They said urgent and neither of you look near death so which of you foolishly hurt yourself before a mission?"

"Not me this time sweetie. This one is all Kakashi. He apparently 'fell' from a tree while reading and scratched his back." I could tell that Genma didn't believe what Kakashi told him but who wouldn't, shinobi don't just fall or trip, unless you're Naruto.

"Oh. Well, let me take a look. What'd you do? And why didn't you tell me you were hurt earlier when I was with you?" Kakashi's eyebrows visibly rose as I realized my mistake in saying we were together earlier. Thankfully Genma ignored my comment.

"Come on let's get this over with Kakashi. We have a mission to prepare for. Not like you to be one to spend time in a hospital anyway." I send a glare at Genma as Kakashi straightens up from his position leaning against the wall. If anyone has no right to complain its Genma, I hear Shizune's stories about how he always makes her wait, he has the attention span of a toddler like Naruto. Not to mention that he's probably the one who dragged Kakashi here in the first place. When I look back at Kakashi to my surprise for the second time that day I notice that he's shirtless. Before I could question why, Genma jumps in and answers for me. "He's got scratches all over his back. From the tree." He rolls his eyes.

"Oh." I look back at Kakashi questioningly and his face says it all. Ooooh. He turns around and I can see my handiwork all over his back. I always knew that I liked it kinda rough and I've healed a few lovers after a rather rough night but I'm surprised that I did that much damage. Usually it's just a few scratches here and there but those look intense almost as if I didn't control myself. I instinctually stare down at my nails and then another flashback hits me. Oh shit. Yeah it's official, if I ever remember that night fully I'll probably ruin sex for the rest of my life. Besides that, the prospect of remembering having sex with my former sensei kinda horrifies me. Not because I essentially filled a schoolgirl fantasy about sleeping with the teacher because I definitely didn't have one of those complexes or because he's older than me, significantly, but because Kakashi has been my team leader for years and more recently I'd like to consider him a friend. We could have essentially ruined one of the better lifelong relationships we'll ever have, and in a world where life is never very long those bonds mean more. I stop my self-reflecting and look back up at Kakashi as he stares at me with his lone eye over his shoulder. I give him a sad smile knowing that he's probably thinking the same things as me before I walk over and start healing the reminders of our mistake.

**Kakashi:**

I know that Sakura was thinking how she wishes we never did what we did and I can't help but agree. If none of that happened then I wouldn't have been forced to go to the hospital, a place I hate for obvious reasons. Many shinobi go into a hospital, but not as many come back out. If I had gotten these scratches from anyone else I would have had no problem with coming to Sakura for a quick healing session before a mission, something that I've actually done before. Now being confronted with each other so soon after the 'incident', I can't shake the feeling that neither of us will stop thinking about this while I'm gone. If only I hadn't let Genma drag me here foolishly thinking she wouldn't be my medic. My thought process stops when I feel the warmth of her healing chakra receding from my back. One of the reasons why I have only Sakura heal me is the way she invades her chakra into your body. Unlike most medics who push it in without thinking of how we react to the invasion, Sakura gradually has it flow in with a warm soothing feeling accompanying it. It amazes me that she's at a point where she can still do the same level of healing with less chakra use and consider the patient's feelings.

Putting on my mesh shirt I tune out what Sakura's saying to me when she turns to write in my extensive chart. I put my black shirt on over it and grab my vest by the time she stops talking and turns around to face me. "Thank you." I could tell she was surprised by my abrupt statement.

A blush adorned her cheeks before she looked away from me as I put my vest on. She took a moment before speaking, "It's my job. You don't have to thank me for it. But it's still appreciated." Her smile that she gave me made me hopeful that we could both work through this and move on.

"Well, we'll see you in a few weeks. Do you know where Shizune is? I haven't told her we're leaving yet, I wanted to make sure that he didn't dip out when I wasn't looking." Genma spoke gesturing toward me. Honestly do these people have not faith in me? My exasperated I sent Genma was ignored by him but not by Sakura as I turned to her when she started laughing.

"Ha, seriously that was probably the best choice. She's on the second floor, Asuka broke her arm while playing ninja." She spoke between laughs. Genma left in search of Shizune while I sent Sakura the same look I was giving Genma earlier. "Kakashi, the last time you were in the hospital was when we were coming home from a date and found you passed out by our front door bleeding out. _Then_ you left the hospital before your injuries were fully healed and I had to re-heal you when I got home." Sakura had her hands on her hips as a show of frustration for my methods. I remember most of that night. I hadn't figured into my 'plans' that she would be out with Sasuke but Kami was on my side.

"I'm sorry. I promise not to bleed out by your front door anymore." I gave her my signature eye creasing smile before heading to the door. Just as I was about to open it, her voice stopped me and I turned to face her.

"You better not." She spoke softly. "And you better come back. Safe." On the last word she looked up at me and at that moment I knew we would never be what we once were, our easy friendship was gone. We might never be friends again but I could tell that she was worried because I was leaving dealing with everything that happened last night. Distracted was something a shinobi could never be if they wanted to survive. She looked as if she wanted to say something but never opened her mouth, probably just another statement about being careful.

**Sakura:**

I considered telling Kakashi about drugging him last night but couldn't bring myself to do it. It's not even for sure if that's why we did what we did. They're a stress reliever, if anything they would decrease sexual desire. Kami! I throw my hands up in exasperation wondering why this had to happen to me. Then again, he is leaving for a rather lengthy mission and while I'll worry about him being distracted, this will give us both some much needed time apart where we won't have to worry about bumping into one another before we know how to deal with this.

December 21st

**Sakura:**

One week. Bits and pieces of that night a week ago have been coming through at random and inappropriate times. While I may not remember the whole night, I've come to realize that I've had the best sex of my whole life. And I'll never remember what it was really like. After a few days Ino stopped bothering me about Mystery Man as she refers to him. It's a conundrum for her because while she's persistent with her pestering, I'm usually giving in my information about my partners. Having Kakashi away for so long lets me step back from the situation and hope that we can both move on after this time spent separate. We'll just have to revisit and revise the previously solid relationship and form new boundaries.

December 31st

**Kakashi:**

It's been almost two and a half weeks since I've seen Sakura or anyone of the female species for that matter. Infiltrating a rogue-nin encampment has its downfalls in that the only woman I can fantasize about is the last one I was with and the only one that I don't wish to remember. Turning over in my cot I face away from the entrance to my tent. I was almost asleep when I hear the rustle of my tent flap opening and the sound of boots walking in. Preparing myself for an assault while easing my body into a position of fake slumber, I wait for my intruder to come closer.

Almost attacking my intruder I stop when I hear Genma's voice coming through the dark silence inside the tent. "Kakashi, I got some intel." Genma whispers.

I turn from my side and sit up in the cot facing him. "Report."

"They should be ready to attack in about a week. We'll attack then when they're all anxious. They'll be too surprised to know that the onslaught is coming from inside." Many people don't realize that Genma is a charmer and so smooth that they don't think twice about him. He comes off as someone who isn't paying attention to what's going on around him when he's actually listening and analyzing. Sakura's slip up about seeing me early on the day we left for the mission wasn't overlooked by him like she probably assumed. He'd tucked it away and asked me about it the first night we were camping. I came up with some excuse about running into her when I was on my way to the memorial stone and she was heading to the hospital for an early shift. He could very well look into the facts of that statement but that would require too much work and he never questions, only hopes that I'm telling some form of the truth.

After Genma leaves to go and tell Aoba and Raido our plans, I lie back down on my cot and think about the past year. It's shocking how so much has changed over the past twelve months. All of my former students have undergone a dramatic change. Sasuke's gone, leaving everyone behind again in search of something; Naruto seems more docile and understanding since Sasuke left and he started dating that Hyuga girl; probably Sakura has changed the most, where she was once content with her life, she now appears bitter about how everything is turning out. Almost like she's turning into me. I shake my head to clear those thoughts away. I'm too dark and broken for Sakura to ever turn out like me; she was always the one who kept our team together, whole. But I can't help but wonder how the new year is going to turn out, especially my relationship with Sakura.

January 11th

**Sakura:**

I have no idea why I let Ino drag me down to the bars when I don't drink anymore. I ponder this as I'm on my way home from dropping Ino off at her and Shikamaru's apartment. Sitting there watching her revenge flirt with other shinobi because she's mad at Shikamaru isn't as entertaining as it used to be. I guess sobriety does that to you.

Walking up the stairs to my apartment I notice someone on my floor leaning on the rail as they walk towards me from the additional set of stairs on the other side of the building. I ignore them as I head to my door; they're just some drunk trying to get home probably. Looking through my bag for my keys I would have screamed if I wasn't a shinobi when I felt someone grab my arm. As it was I immediately pivoted and swept my leg under the person behind me before pinning their shoulders to the ground.

"Kami!" I scream once I realize that its Kakashi pinned below me. I quickly move off of him and reach down to help him up. It wasn't until I see him fully standing that I notice the blood. Lots and lots of blood. "What did you do?!" I scream again, uncaring if the neighbors wake.

"I'm fine." Kakashi pants out between deep breaths. "Or I was… before you knocked me down."

I can see the eye crease and know that he's smiling under that mask. Leave it to Kakashi to once again come to bleed out by my door after I tell him not to and then make jokes. "Come on let me heal you." I say while reaching for him to help him inside.

"No." Kakashi breathes out and I just look at him like he's lost it. "None of this blood is mine.. Well maybe a little.. of it is but definitely.. not most of it.. Its Raido's.. He got hit bad.. and Genma's got.. a broken leg.. We couldn't carry Raido.. any farther so I left Aoba.. with them while I came to get.. help."

Realization hits and I grab Kakashi around the waist with his arm over my shoulder and jump down from the hall balcony. As we run to the exit I ask where he left them. "And why didn't you go to the hospital. They have plenty of people on call for stuff like this." But before Kakashi even speaks I know the answer.

"You're house.. is closer than the hospital.. I wouldn't.. have made it back.. in time if I went there." I knew what that meant and sped up a little, knowing that expending the extra chakra now wouldn't matter during healing if I didn't get there in time.

We're a mile and a half outside of Konoha when I notice the group in the road. Arriving on the scene the first thing I notice is that part of the femur is sticking out by Genma's right kneecap. "Holy shit" I whisper. I look away from his leg when I hear a grunt of pain, I look over and see Aoba holding his hand over Raido's upper abdomen. I lean Kakashi against a tree nearby and run over to Aoba. Before I even have a chance at asking what happened I notice all the blood. So much blood. Both of them were covered in it. Raido was having difficulty breathing and I notice that Aoba is holding his hands over the lower part of the ribcage. I say the first thing that comes to my mind, "Oh shit." Definitely not the smartest thing to say because Aoba looks up at me with a panicked expression. I close my eyes, take a deep breath then open my eyes and tear his shirt off, then bring chakra to my hands to find out exactly what's wrong. I start by inspecting the lungs because his distressed breathing isn't a good sign. After that I bring my hands lower, over the wound Aoba is trying to stop from bleeding. Taking another deep breath I look at Aoba. "You need to go with Kakashi to the hospital and tell them where I'm at. You two.." I say looking between him and Kakashi. ".. need to stay there. No arguing." I finish the last part and glare at Kakashi.

"No need.. to worry.. about that." Kakashi smiles and two seconds later he passes out.

"Damnit! You've got to be kidding me!" I yell and throw my hands in the air. "Okay Aoba, you need to go to the hospital and tell them where we're at. Hurry but don't over exert yourself too much." Aoba glances down at Raido with a hesitant look. "Don't worry he'll be fine" I reassure him. "Go."

As Aoba leaves I begin to work on repairing the all the internal damage. Thankfully Raido had a tear in his diaphragm and didn't have a punctured lung as I initially thought or he'd be in far worse condition. So far that's the only damage besides the gash and a knick on one of his ribs that the weapon went through. I finish closing the wound and cover it to help prevent infection, the bone will have to heal on its own. Sitting back on my heels I look at his face and see that he's fallen unconscious, probably had major chakra exhaustion like Kakashi but was awake because of the pain. I reach over and pull a blanket out of their discarded packs to cover him up. I get up and then walk over to Kakashi to check him out. After checking his general health I close up all the cuts he has before leaning against a nearby tree. Sighing, I slide down the tree and don't stop until I'm sitting on the ground with my head resting on my knees.

"He's going to be okay, right?" I open my eyes and look up at Genma. I wish that I could help him, but I've used up too much chakra from work and healing Raido and Kakashi.

I crawl over to Genma and place my hand over his head. My hand glows green for a while before I speak. "Yeah Raido's injury wasn't as severe as I thought but at the pace you guys were probably traveling at it would have gotten really bad by the time you arrived. I shut off some of your pain receptors that should ease some of your pain." He visibly relaxes and I offer him a small smile.

"Thanks. But I was referring to Kakashi." I glance back at Kakashi when Genma says his name.

"Why? He was fine until he passed out from chakra exhaustion. That's normal after missions of this kind." I look questioningly at Genma.

He shifts up into a sitting position, with more than a little pain, before speaking. "All this blood.." He begins, gesturing at his clothes and those of his teammates. "..ninety percent of it probably isn't ours." My eyes widen at this revelation. _What?!_ "I was kicked by a shinobi with strength similar to yours, I'm lucky they weren't you otherwise my leg would have been severed. Raido was already breathing weird from a stab wound he got from the enemy early on so Aoba was defending us from the enemy while we watched on, helpless. When I got injured we realized that any ideas about retreat when things got bad went out the window, no one could carry out two casualties _and_ fend off enemies. So we dug in and they fought. Kakashi killed them. All of them. Most of this blood is residual spatter. It was like he was a machine, his eye has to be in so much pain from sharingan overuse. That's why we had no idea how bad Raido was until you came, we couldn't tell whose blood it was."

I lower my eyes thinking about how focused you have to be to fend off Kami knows how many enemy nin while protecting your injured teammates. We sat in comfortable silence before Genma spoke up again. "This isn't the kind of injury that I can just bounce back from is it?" I look up at him and see that he's looking at his hands in his lap.

Reaching for his hands, I squeeze them and speak when he looks up. "No it's not. I'll be straight with you Genma. This kind of injury.." I begin, gesturing to his right leg. "..is pretty serious. Not only is it your femur that is broken, one of the thickest bones which take a long time to heal, but the injury is protruding at your kneecap which means that there's most likely tendon and other muscular damage to your joint. We can heal most of the tendons and muscles that can eventually strengthen again with time and rehab, and we can set and heal some of the bone. But it will take a very long time before the bone fully heals and with all the other damage you've sustained.. well this.. it usually.." I pull back from Genma then.

"..isn't something that you can come back from." Genma finishes my sentence.

"Not completely." I reply. "You'll regain the use of your leg, but to say whether you'll have full range of movement or even walk without impairment isn't something I can judge now." We sit in silence until the medical team arrives.

January 14th

**Sakura:**

Walking into Kakashi's room the first thing that I see is him... trying to escape. "What are you doing?" I ask, already knowing the answer. Crossing my arms over my chest, I glare at him, ignoring his sheepish look.

Kakashi starts talking while running his hands through his hair, a nervous habit I haven't seen since the morning after. "You know I don't like hospitals. But I can't get this window open." He gestures behind him to the one he was just trying to pry open. "Sealing jutsu I'm going to assume."

"Yea, I put it on there so I could check you over before you dipped out." Walking over to the window I do a series of hand signs and release the seal on the window. "Just sit on the bed and let me check you over then you can leave."

"Sakura, I really don't…" Kakashi began.

"No arguments. It's just a cursory exam. Nothing big, come on." I say and pat the bed that he'd been unconscious in for the past three days. Besides Genma, Kakashi is the last of his team to leave the hospital and understandable too after reading the mission report that Aoba submitted.

Kakashi walks over to the bed and sits down while I begin my exam inspecting the recently healed wounds before moving on to his eye. "I haven't had any pain since waking up." Kakashi says in response to the question I was about to ask.

"That's a good sign. Well you seem fine, just take it easy for a day and you'll be back on the mission roster." I tell him as I lower my hands, the green healing chakra receding. Walking away I sway on my feet and grab onto the end of the bed for support. "Woah.."

Kakashi is on his feet and grabbing onto my upper arm. "Are you okay?" He asks concerned.

I wave my hand in the air as I regain my balance. "Yeah. I'm fine, just a little tired. Haven't slept a lot these past few days with Genma's leg surgeries taking up a lot of my time and with being the only one who can heal an overused sharingan." I smile and roll my eyes at him at the end of my statement.

"Sakura.." Kakashi starts in his old sensei voice, "You can't do that. You know medics are the most important thing in a shinobi village."

I jerk my arm out of his grip, getting angry that he's mad while I was only doing my job. "It's my job to heal Kakashi. And if you recall, I'm tired from healing not just Genma but _you_. Genma's injuries weren't life threatening but he's going to have months maybe years of recovery. I'm working my _ass_ off so your friend and mine can walk without impairment and maybe still have a career as a shinobi. And you, if I didn't heal the optical nerve damage then you may not have ever been able to see out of your eye or even function because of the pain it would have undoubtedly caused." By now I have backed Kakashi up against the window.

"I get it." Kakashi begins, looking kind of surprised that I got into his face like that. "I really do get it, it's just that you can't do any of that if you're not at one hundred percent. You need to go home and rest." That was the last thing he said before he jumped out of the window. Leaving me still angry.

January 22nd

**Kakashi:**

It's been a little over a week since I've seen Sakura. We would usually spend the night after a mission drinking together at the bar but she hasn't shown up there since I've returned. Guess I was right about not being friends anymore. Too bad, she was the only one who didn't try and delve into the 'great mystery' that is the Copy-nin like most people, it's probably because she has to deal with Ino prying all the time. I take another sip of my sake and pour another as I hear the door to the bar open.

"Hey stranger." Surprised, I turn around to see Sakura standing behind me. "This seat taken?"

"Nope, all yours." I say gesturing to the stool next to mine. "Can I have another cup?" I ask the bartender. Maybe things can go back to normal.

"Actually I don't need one." Sakura says to the bartender before turning to face me. "I decided to stop drinking. Ever since 'the incident' I've been sober."

That actually makes a lot of sense. If I hadn't gone on that mission I probably would have stopped drinking for a while, but as it is I killed 30 people two weeks ago and right now I need to drink. "So what brings you here then?" I ask, confused as to why she showed up if she's not going to drink.

"Am I not allowed to hang out with you without drinking? You would do this before when you had a mission the next day, we are friends still aren't we?" Her answer took me aback. I never realized that this was her trying to salvage our relationship, we haven't talked since I left her at the hospital.

"Yeah. Yeah we are." I give her my signature eye crease and raise my cup to her before downing it.

"Good." She smiled back at me. "And you'll be happy to know that I am taking tomorrow off. Finally listening to your advice."

January 23rd

**Sakura:**

Of course this day was going to be a horrible day. The one day I've had off since never and have the chance to sleep in is ruined the second I hear Naruto's loud voice at six in the morning. _Does he have any sense of self-preservation?_ I wonder as I walk to the front door, while planning a million different ways I will kill him.

"What the he-" I scream as I rip open my door but stop when I see who's standing there. "Hi Hinata." I look at her questioningly before I glare back at Naruto.

"See Naruto, I told you that she'd be asleep. It's her day off." Hinata whispers to Naruto. She was obviously dragged here by the blond and had no hand in this plot to ruin my day but I can't help but silently dislike her, I mean she didn't stop him. They're both fully dressed in their training gear so I was just waiting for the words that came out of Naruto's mouth next.

"Sakura come train with us. You haven't trained with the team since… well, since I can't remember when but that doesn't matter!" Naruto pleaded. I could tell that he really wanted me to come with them and while I would love to go with them, I have to give him somewhat of a hard time because he did wake me up.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" I scowl, leaning up against the doorframe.

"Time to go… train?" Wrong answer. He chuckles and grins nervously and I have to rein in my urge to pummel him in front of his girlfriend.

"No, Naruto, it's time for me, like most normal people on their day off, to be in bed." I fume, punctuating the last few words with pokes to his chest. He backs away and begins rubbing the spot where I was poking him, probably a bit too hard.

Hinata puts her hand on Naruto's upper arm and rubs it in a comforting gesture before she looks back at me. "We're sorry. We didn't mean to disturb you but Naruto thought that it would be fun to train with you since you haven't trained with them since he left. None of us have seen you all that much."

Hinata's statement, while it shocked me that she was so vocal, rang true. I hadn't been hanging out with much of anybody these past few months except for Kakashi and whoever warmed my bed some nights. I snorted inside my head when I realized the irony that I hadn't been hanging out with Kakashi now either because he warmed my bed one night. And beside last night, I can't recall the last time that I was anywhere but the hospital or home. Things really are reaching rock bottom, I'm turning into a hermit. I shudder at the thought and redirect my attention back to the couple in front of me. I know that I should torture him a bit longer but his face just looks so sad. I reach out and grab Naruto's arm when they turn to leave. "Hey, thanks. I'd love to." I give him my best smile before heading back inside to change.

**Naruto:**

Ducking, I avoided a surely fatal kick to the head. I knew that it was risky to wake Sakura up early on her first day off in a long time but I haven't seen her in forever damnit. Before I would see her at the bars with Kakashi or sometimes at the hospital but for the past two months I never saw her once, I was on missions but that's probably the longest I've ever gone without seeing her. I used my leverage and forward momentum to push off of the ground with my hands and jump into the tree line, effectively concealing my chakra and myself. Wow she's really into it today.

"Naaa-ruuu-toooo. Come out, come out!" Sakura singsonged from the center of the training field. I used what little time I had left to stretch out my shoulders some more before she found where I was hiding. "You know with my chakra precision and detection abilities that I'm going to find you." I could see her scanning the trees and I took a battle stance, waiting for her to notice me. _Three... Two..._ "Got you."

Launching myself from my hiding place I flew towards Sakura with battle intensity but faltered when I saw her smirking. Shit, I'm going to lose again. As I reached Sakura I drew my right hand back but when I threw the punch it was deflected at the wrist with her right hand. Pushing me off balance, I didn't notice that her other arm had been cocked back and it was too late to deflect the swift punch to my ribs. Doubling over with a grunt, I weakly waved my hand as a sign of defeat.

"You've gotten better Naruto. Your close combat fighting has improved." I could see Sakura smiling at me but was in too much pain to respond. I could also vaguely hear someone else rushing across the battlefield.

"Naruto! Oh my goodness, are you okay?" Hinata, of course, I forgot she was here. I didn't respond but instead rolled over onto my side with a moan. How many ribs did she break? I could feel Hinata running her hands through my hair in what was supposed to be a comforting manner but I could only think about how long it would be before one of them took pity and actually healed my ribs.

"Heal me…. Please." I managed to ground out between clenched teeth.

Sakura jumped a little and then bent down next to me. "Oh. Right, sorry I forgot." She gave me a sheepish smile which I returned with a glare, yeah... 'forgot'. Feeling the warmth from Sakura's healing chakra I could immediately feel the pain dissipate from my right side. "There you go. All better."

"Thanks." Giving Sakura one of my big smiles while Hinata helped me into a sitting position. "And thanks for the training I know you didn't have to do this on your day off."

"It was no problem. I had nothing else to do today anyway. See you later!" Sakura shrugged and turned to start walking off. I heard Hinata stand next to me and looked up to see her chase after Sakura.

"Wait Sakura!" I heard Hinata say when she caught up to her. "Ino came by and told me to remind you that you have an appointment today and that it's urgent because she said you've missed all the other ones she's scheduled."

I could hear Sakura groan as I got up and made my way over to them. "She does know I'm a medic too doesn't she. I don't need her to do exams on me, I think I'd know when something is wrong." Sakura complained as I approached them.

I put my arm around Hinata's shoulder and recoiled slightly at the tight pull I got from my newly healed ribs. Hinata looked up at me when she felt me wince and started rubbing circles on my back. She leaned up and kissed me before turning back to Sakura. "She sounded like it was urgent. Maybe you should just go and talk to her."

Hinata pulled away from me to hug Sakura goodbye and I whimpered at the lost contact. I would have never imagined that I would have fallen so hard for her in such a short time. Maybe I was always in love with her and just never knew it but everyone else did. I waved goodbye to Sakura as Hinata returned to my side. I'm so lucky.

**Sakura:**

Why is it that everyone wants to see me on my one day off? I don't bother them on their days off. I complained to myself as I reached the hospital doors. Walking up to the nurses' station I decided to stall some by chatting up the nurses and get all the gossip before Ino bombarded it onto me. "Hey Emi! How's Choji?" I questioned while leaning over the counter.

"Oh, hey Sakura! He's doing great, thanks for asking." Emi had been dating Choji for a few weeks now and it seemed like the two were getting serious about each other. It was safe to say that everyone was surprised when Choji invited her to the usual Rookie Nine monthly hang out. They had been dating for two weeks and she had wanted to meet the rest of his friends besides Ino and Shikamaru. Neither of them warned the rest of us about her, so when Emi walked in holding Choji's hand everyone's mouth dropped. Emi was gorgeous, like her name suggested, with long brown curls framing a tan round face with the palest of blue eyes, similar to the Hyuga's but with a barely visible blue. No one questioned why she was dating Choji, he's not bad looking and he has the biggest heart, we were all so shocked that someone like her exists. I got her a job working as the front receptionist at the hospital shortly after that. She's a hard worker and almost as amiable as Naruto.

"He ask you yet?" I quietly questioned her, knowing that she's nervous since Choji hasn't asked her to be his girlfriend yet. Being Emi's friend I know that she's slept with Choji and is worried because they're not going steady yet, even though she knows he's not seeing anyone else.

"No." Emi looked down at the folder before her. "Ino keeps telling me to be patient but we've been seeing each other for months. I'm not like her, I can't wait years to get proposed to, and neither of us is getting younger. If he doesn't do anything soon I think that I'll have to move on."

"Oh Emi." I reach over the counter and grasp her hand on the desk. "Choji's a romantic, I'm sure he wants it to be special. Just wait. But change of subject, any juicy gossip?" I wink down at her.

"Actually Sakura..." Emi leaned forward looking around, and I couldn't help but inch a little forward in anticipation of the latest gossip. "Ino is waiting for you. She's on the third floor." Emi laughed as I straightened and frowned at her.

"Kami, you're no fun!" I stick my tongue out at her as I make my way to the stairs. Upon arriving at the third floor I look to my left and immediately see Ino giving instructions to one of the nurses. Walking over to them I pause a few feet away waiting for her to finish.

"Oh hey Forehead, glad you finally showed up." Ino spoke when she turned around and noticed me.

"What do you want? Hinata said you made it sound important. It's not time for my physical and I'm healthy so what's up?" I questioned as I followed Ino down the hall into one of the empty exam rooms. We were in the OB/GYN department so I stared at the diagrams that I've seen a thousand times and memorized as I waited for Ino to finish looking at whatever chart she was scanning. Looking up from the chart, Ino turned around and stared at me for a good ten seconds. It was uncomfortable so I shifted and sat on the exam table a little away from her. "What?"

"You know that you've missed every appointment I've rescheduled for you for the past… what like seven weeks." Ino glares at me.

"Appointment? What appointment?" I ask her, genuinely confused.

"The appointment that you asked me to reschedule because of a mission. Let's see it was supposed to be on December fourth but you were going to be gone and asked me to move it to later. It's the same appointment you make every twelve weeks." Ino responds. What? What do I do every twelve we-…

"Oh shit." I see Ino nodding her head when she saw I knew what she was talking about. My birth control shot. How could I forget about that? Ever since I had that scare I've been almost religious about it, taking it every twelve weeks on the dot and not even being late by a day like I used to.

"Well now that I've finally dragged you in here we can do it. I sincerely hope that you've been using protection since you haven't been covered. I'm sure that you already knew that once you stop the shot it could take weeks to months to get pregnant. But you should have used protection anyway." Ino lectures me as she pulls items from the cabinets, a needle, serum, some antiseptic wipes and a plastic cup with some test papers. Turning back around Ino hands me the cup. "I'm sure you know that since you're late on your shot that I have to give you a pregnancy test."

I extend my arm to try and hand Ino the cup back. "I don't need a test Ino, I didn't have sex after I had you reschedule my appointment. I know how important that shot is."

Ino looks at me unbelievingly, "regardless I have to give you the test and you know that."

I groan as I stomp into the bathroom across the hall. "FINE!"

I hand Ino the cup when I arrive back into the room and sit back down on the exam table. Ino picks up a test paper and puts it in the cup before grabbing the serum and needle. She set them on the exam table next to me and went to put gloves on. Still turned the other way Ino begins her usual twenty questions. "Honestly? You didn't have sex for seven weeks. If you forgot about the appointment how did you remember to not have sex?"

Her question took me off guard. "I don't know. I've been really busy helping Genma with his recovery after his mission with Kakashi…" I trailed off as my mind caught up to what I was saying. I do know. Shit. I didn't sleep with anyone for a while because of the shot until I somehow slept with Kakashi and I haven't slept with anyone since. I paled as I thought back to that morning after. Did we use protection? I couldn't remember if I found any condom wrappers or not. I'm such an idiot. I need to be more careful, what if Kakashi had gotten me pregnant? We'd have both been screwed. Thank Kami that never happened.

Ino didn't notice that I had zoned out and kept talking instead. "I get that you're busy but geez forgetting your shot isn't something you do and seven weeks no sex is horrible." Ino shuddered at the thought.

I couldn't help but laugh at her imagining not having sex for that long. "You know it's not as horrible as you're probably imagining it. You have someone you love, Shikamaru, of course picturing not being intimate with them would be miserable." I thought back to the first few days after _he_ left when I was still alone. I remember feeling so sad when I realized I'd never get to kiss him good morning or good night, or have sex with him again.

"Well you just have to wait a week and then you can sleep with as many people as you want." Ino spoke as she drew the right amount into the needle. "Where do you want it, right or left hip?"

I got up off of the table and pointed at my right hip. I couldn't remember which side I got it on last time so I might as well just pick one. I stood facing the table and the counter on the far side of the room with my right hip facing the entry door. Ino pulled my shorts down some of the way to get access to the muscles that she needed to inject it into. I began to glance around the room, trying to find something interesting to look at but of course I've seen everything in here a million times. I felt the cold of the antiseptic wipe and Ino pinching my skin. "Okay, you know it's going to sting and then hurt for a few hours. Deep breath." I took a deep breath in and let it out as I waited for Ino to readjust her grip on the muscle. "Sorry, alright, ready?"

Nodding my head I took another deep breath and looked across the room again. That was when something caught my eye. It was the paper in my cup. It looked different but I couldn't place why, then I stood up straighter when I realized why. "INO STOP!" I quickly moved away from the needle that Ino was millimeters away from injecting into me.

"What? What's your problem Forehead?" Ino looked at me like I was crazy, and then looked over to the counter where I was still staring wide eyed. "Seriously, what..?" If I had been looking at her I would have noticed that her eyes grew nearly as big as mine. Unlike me though she immediately crossed the room to examine that paper more closely. The pink paper, which should have been blue. Ino grabbed another pale yellow slip of paper and placed it in the cup next to the pink one. Within a minute that one also turned pink. "Sakura…" Ino turned around and looked at me.

I could already feel the tears falling down my face as I whispered, "No…"

_…continued._

A/N: I AM SOOOO SORRY! It took wayyy to long for me to get this out, school has been really hectic with being behind before the semester even starts (most of you college kids know what I'm talking about) and I usually write on weekends but its football season and that's sort of a religion here so I've been busy! Plus this chapter was way longer than expected. Anyway! Yeah, yeah, I know what some of you are thinking.. Ugh this is such a typical plot. Well it just may not be what you're expecting. (Not to mention that if this type of plot is typical then that must mean most people enjoy reading this stuff and people do write for the majority not that one weirdo who enjoys character deaths and depressing-kill-yourself-shit but let's not get started on that, anyhow..) I kinda already have most of this plot figured out but I may change things, I'm a girl, I do that a lot, who knows. And we are nowhere near how far I'm planning to take it so I hope most of you stick around. I'm thinking sequel.. I have too many ideas for one story. Or I could just write a whole new story (while continuing this one). By the way I decided to have her do a shot because it seemed logical, I accidently forgot to get mine on time and they had to give me a pregnancy test before they could administer it, only way I could do it without making weird stuff up like jutsu or whatnot.

Disclaimer still applies.


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